Family Tales
by Swift tales
Summary: This is the sequel to Family Ties. It's quite important to have read Family Ties before reading this one. I'm afraid you won't be able to follow otherwise. Summary: now that Ryan has established contact with his real parents, life goes on Warning SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Ryan swabbed the outside of the glass, smearing the lipstick of the mouthprint slightly, they'd already recovered the print. He capped the little plastic protector about the end of the swab and then filed it away into the cardboard box. He carefully noted the evidence in the paperwork and looked over the rest of his notes. So far, the case wasn't really going anywhere yet. They were still processing most of the evidence and it would take a while before he'd be able to form a picture of what might have happened and go out and ask some people some questions. He nibbled on his lip for a minute before focusing his attention back on the evidence.

"Hey Ryan."

Ryan jumped slightly. He looked up and smiled at Calleigh, who was leaning against the wall. "Hey, Calleigh."

Calleigh smiled back at him and stepped further into the room. She stood at the other side of the table and one of her hands brushed over some of his paperwork. "How are you doing?"

Ryan forced his smile to stay on his face and gave a carefully measured shrug. "I'm doing fine."

Ever since he'd come back to work about a week ago everybody had been asking him that question. It was good to know that people cared and it was good to know that people wanted to know how he was doing, but it was getting on his nerves. He was doing fine, he'd taken some time off, gathered his wits about him, figured out some pretty important stuff and although there were quite a few things he still needed to figure out, he was doing fine. He was alright. He was doing pretty good.

"Are you sure, Ryan? Because you know that if you need to talk, you can always talk to me." Calleigh said, a soft, concerned smile on her face.

Ryan smiled and nodded. "I know Calleigh, thanks."

She gave him a blinding smile and then focused on the evidence. "Alright, so what do we have?"

Ryan smiled, relieved that she hadn't tried to get him to talk about his feelings at the lab at that very same moment. He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Well, this is most of the evidence I've collected from the crime scene. I've already sent some of it up to Valera, but there are still some things that need to go to DNA. Mostly I'm just finishing processing everything. I don't really have a clear picture of what has happened yet. I'll be meeting Alexx soon downstairs, for the autopsy."

Calleigh nodded. "Do you need a hand?"

Ryan grinned. "Sure, if you're offering."

Together they started processing the evidence, they worked silently side by side, sometimes commenting on things they found or just plain small talk. After they finished, Calleigh went to drop of some stuff at the DNA lab while Ryan rode the elevator down to the morgue.

No one at the lab knew about him and Horatio being father and son. They hadn't decided what to say yet so they'd decided not to say anything, for now. Ryan wondered how everyone would react if they found out he was Horatio's son. Would he suddenly be accused of getting the job only because he was the boss's son? While Ryan knew that it wasn't true, because Horatio hadn't even known Ryan was his son back then, it was a possibility that his reputation could suffer from that. And if he had a bad reputation, if it was rumoured that he wasn't a real CSI, his credibility in court could be called into question.

And what if suddenly people started referring to him as Horatio Caine's son? He'd worked in law enforcement long enough to know what a reputation Horatio had. He was considered one of the best, if the not the best, forensic expert in Miami, if not in Florida. If he was considered as Horatio Caine's son, it would be nearly impossible to further his career in his own name. It was a possibility that he'd never be able to get out of his father's shadow if that happened. And while he would never ride Horatio's coattails to get ahead, he wanted to make a career in law enforcement.

But then again, he had been a CSI for almost two years now and while it was impossible to say that two years was enough to establish a lasting impression, there were people who knew him, who knew what kind of person he was. And he'd been in law enforcement longer then that, he had friends in patrol who'd known him for who he was instead of whose son he was. There were people who knew him, who knew what kind of person he was, but if it was enough to stay out of Horatio' shadow, Ryan had no idea.

It was a problem, because Ryan didn't want to hide the fact that Horatio was his father and while his father hadn't announced the irrepressible urge to shout it out to the world, Ryan could tell that Horatio didn't want to hide the fact that Ryan was his son. So at the moment they were stuck in a stalemate, one that Ryan did not know how to solve. He briefly pinched the bridge of his nose. They would cross that bridge when they got to it.

The elevator pinged and Ryan straightened, looking at the number display above the door. They'd stopped at the ground floor because someone had pressed the button, but the elevator would drop off Ryan at the morgue in the basement first. The doors slid open and Ryan was suddenly face to face with Laura Haigh.

She was dressed in cream coloured slacks and a lavender v-neck sweater. Her white high heels made her almost as tall as he was. Her dark brown hair was gathered together with a silver hairpin at the nape. She was carrying a briefcase in one hand and a couple of files in the other, pressed against her side. She smiled when she saw him and stepped into the elevator. With the ease of someone who'd obviously been doing it for years she kept a firm grip on the files and pressed the button for the second floor.

"Hello Ryan."

"Hello," he hesitated, "Laura."

If she was disappointed that he'd addressed her by name instead of with "mom", she didn't show it. She merely smiled at him, her eyes crinkled at the corners as she did so. Her body was slightly turned to him. He wondered if Horatio had told her that Ryan had called him 'dad'.

"How are you doing?" Laura asked.

Ryan hesitated again. "Good, I'm doing good. I … eum…need to go to the morgue."

She smiled again. "I guess that's why we're going down, to the basement. I have an appointment with Jonathan Walters, we need to discuss some evidence results for a case of mine."

"Do you always have your evidence processed by swing shift?"

"I used to yes, but Horatio offered to look over some evidence for me when I ran into him a couple of months ago."

"When you ran into him?" Ryan asked. The elevator door pinged and slid opened. Ryan jumped slightly, startled. He stepped forward into the hallway and then looked back to Laura, hesitating.

Laura smiled and stepped forward, pressing the hand holding the files against the elevator door so it wouldn't close. "Yes, when I ran into him. Horatio and I didn't have a lot of contact after we got divorced. We talked to each other, once a year… but then I ran into him a couple of months ago and he made the offer. I can't say that I've taken him up on it more often then not. I guess we're still not completely comfortable with each other yet."

Ryan nodded. "I think that was the time I saw you. You and Horatio were talking and the walls are made of glass…Horatio was acting… charming…, he swept you away from underneath Walter's nose according to Calleigh. Eric thought that he was asking you out. I felt like we were spying on the principal or something."

Laura smiled at him, and it was this smile where her lips pressed together in a fine line, as if she was trying not to laugh and he realized that she looked incredibly amused. "You were spying on us?"

Ryan could feel himself flush and nodded. "Well I wasn't, but Calleigh and Eric were." He almost rolled his eyes at himself.

Laura chuckled and then shook her head slightly. She still looked amused. "I should get going, I shouldn't let Jonathan wait." She took a step back, but didn't release the elevator door.

"Was he asking you out?" Ryan asked.

Laura gave him a vague, wistful look. "Walters? Yes. Horatio? No." She focused on him and smiled. "I'll talk to you later, Ryan."

She released the door and it almost slid completely shut. Ryan however, reached forward and stuck his hand in, causing the door to slide open again. She seemed surprised. Ryan was uncomfortably aware of the fact that this was only the second time he'd talked to her since he'd found her and he hadn't talked to her a whole lot the first time either. He took a deep breath.

"I'd like to talk some more… maybe over coffee? Or something? Sometime? Sometime soon?" Ryan asked, suddenly feeling extremely nervous.

Laura smiled warmly. "Of course we can. How about this, I'll give you my number and you can give me a call, let me know when."

He nodded and she handed him the files to carry. He took them with both hands and leaned his side against the door to keep it open. She dug around in her briefcase and then pulled out a business card. She took over her files and handed him the card.

"My cell phone number is on the back."

He nodded and slipped the card in his back pocket. "I'll call you."

She smiled again and he stepped away from the door. It slid shut and Ryan watched the display above the door as the little numbers lit up. The elevator stopped at the ground floor and Ryan realized that they'd probably forced some people to wait or to take the stairs. He kept watching until number 2 was highlighted, indicating that the elevator was now on the second floor. He sighed and turned around, walking into the hall. He still needed to talk to Alexx about his case.

To Be Continued….

Swift tales: I know that a situation like this doesn't occur very often, because you have these buttons and the right elevator comes down or up and blablabla. But I noticed (or I think I noticed) that there is only one elevator in the lab, so something like this could happen. I think.

Also, I was going to wait until Wednesday to post this fic so that I'll keep up with my established posting schedule, but then I thought... nah! So, the next chapter will be posted on wednesday and the chapter after that on Saterday and so and so forth.

I hope you guys liked it!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Samantha Warren had been a beautiful, young woman before she'd been murdered and brutally mauled. The killer had strangled her to death, slowly and painfully, and after she'd released her final breath he or she had attacked her face with a butcher's knife. Her nose, lips, eyelids and ears had been cut off. Her cheeks, chin and forehead had been slashed and cut open. Some of her fingers were missing and all her limbs were broken. Her left hand was completely crushed as if someone had taken a baseball bat to it and kept hitting until the only thing left was mush. Her thighs were covered in fingernail and bite marks and there was enough vaginal tearing to suggest rape. Only, the rape had happened post mortem and there was no semen found.

Ryan hated this case already and he'd only been listening to Alexx talk about the body for ten minutes. He hadn't seen the body before because he'd arrived at the scene after Alexx had come to collect it. He'd noticed the unusual amount of damage at the crime scene, a lot of mementos were smashed and the furniture had been overturned. He'd collected the numerous bloody knives he'd found in the kitchen sink, but he hadn't really made the connection between bloody knives and what they must have done to become like that. But now he saw the undeniable evidence of one of the most brutal murders Ryan had ever seen. He really, really hated this case and he really, really wanted to catch this guy.

"Whoever did this to her is one crazy son of a bitch." Ryan said, looking sadly at the body.

Alexx made "hmm"-noise in agreement as she scrapped underneath the girl's fingernails. "It seems that she got a good scratch in, there's some DNA underneath her fingernails. Maybe that will give you a match."

Ryan nodded and reached out with one latex-gloved hand to softly stroke Samantha Warren's hair. She was a blonde with green eyes that couldn't close anymore. He doubted the family would want to have an open-casket wake at her funeral. The thought made him inexplicably sad somehow. To some people it meant a lot to be able to say goodbye to the body of a loved one, but Samantha's family wouldn't be able to, unless they thought they'd be able to stomach the sight of her mutilated corps. If Samantha Warren was related to him, he very much doubted he'd be able to look at her.

The door to the morgue suddenly opened and Horatio stepped inside. His sunglasses were tucked away into the pocket of his jacket and he had a serious look on his face. "Hello Alexx, Ryan."

Alexx paused for a brief moment, looking at Horatio curiously and Ryan realized that she'd probably noticed the change from "Mr. Wolfe" to "Ryan". However, it seemed that she shrugged it off quickly because she smiled at Horatio. "Hello Horatio. What can I do for you?"

Horatio approached the corps, standing across the table from Ryan, and looked down at her. "Is this Samantha Warren?"

Ryan nodded and Alexx sighed. "I'm afraid so. Poor baby was strangled to death, all the injuries were post-mortem."

Horatio sighed. "I'm afraid that the feds are pressuring the brass to let them take over this case."

Ryan blinked. "What? Why?"

"Because apparently there have been six other murders with this exact same M.O. in six different states. They want our team to relinquish all the evidence and the paperwork and walk away while they try to find the killer. The brass feels that we should comply."

"So, we're just going to have to walk away?" Ryan asked.

Horatio gave him a look that was partly serious and partly amused. "The brass feels that we should comply, but I've convinced them that we should have a crack at it first. After all, we are a very successful crime lab. The higher ups have made a deal with the feds, we have three days to solve this case. This case is highest priority, I'm getting everyone to work on it."

Ryan nodded, looking back down at the body and once again lifting his hand to stroke her hair. "Good, I really want to catch this guy."

Horatio nodded and turned to Alexx. "When you're done with the autopsy could you send me an extra copy of the autopsy report, please? I agreed to forward all the evidence while we continue to keep working on the case in exchange for access to the evidence gathered at all the other crime scenes."

"Sure thing, Horatio."

"Thank you Alexx, Ryan. I'll talk to you both later," and with that he turned around and left.

Ryan hesitated briefly, wanting to go after him, but he stayed put. They were at work, so Ryan needed to act like nothing had changed between him and Horatio. He needed to act like he was still Ryan Wolfe and Horatio Caine was still just his boss. And Ryan Wolfe did not make a habit out of following Horatio around the lab. Besides, he wasn't finished here yet.

He left the morgue about an hour later and made his way back up to the labs. He collected the evidence results and was about to slip into the break room to have some coffee while he looked everything over when he caught a glimpse of Horatio and Frank talking to each other right outside of Horatio's office. Ryan hesitated for a brief moment, deciding whether he should go over there and talk to Horatio, about meeting up again or something, because Frank knew about Horatio and Ryan and the whole father-son-thing and he wouldn't find it strange that Ryan would want to see Horatio outside of work.

He debated it to himself for a whole two minutes before turning around and heading into the break room. They hadn't established any sort of rules for behaving in the workplace, but Ryan didn't want to chance mixing two situations that shouldn't be mixed. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down on one of the sofa's. He opened the files he'd gathered and started to read through them, forcing himself to focus completely on the case.

Judging by some fingerprints and DNA evidence, he'd have to have a talk with Robert 'Bob' Robertson, Samantha Warren's boyfriend. Ryan found himself briefly wondering how parents could name their child Robert when his last name would be Robertson. The thought took him of on a tangent, as only thoughts like that can, and before he realized it he was thinking up several first names that would not be compatible with certain last names without sounding utterly ridiculous. And out of the blue he wondered if Ryan fit with Caine without sounding ridiculous.

Ryan shook his head in an attempt to clear it and focused back on his files. He'd definitely need to talk to Bob and maybe he should call a judge in advance to get a warrant to search his house, he was pretty confident that getting the search warrant wouldn't be a problem. He made a few mental notes in his head as he looked over several DNA results. He sipped his coffee and realized that he'd forgotten to put in sugar. It was way too bitter.

"Ryan."

His heart jumped in his throat and he looked up from his files to see Eric standing across from him. He swallowed and wondered if he should stand up.

"Hey, Eric."

Eric smiled and sat down next to Ryan, whose heart was still pounding in his throat. That smile got to Ryan every time and his breath caught in his throat. Ryan admonished himself that it was silly and he needed to get a grip on himself, if they had to work a case together Ryan couldn't go walking around moonstruck all the time. He couldn't allow Eric to affect him like this, not at work anyway. Ryan realized that there were a lot of things he couldn't do at work. Suddenly there was a lot of his life that he kept hidden from his co-workers.

"Is it alright if I come over tonight?" Eric asked.

Ryan nodded, a bit eagerly and he blushed as soon as he realized. "Yes… of course."

They were still settling into a comfortable relationship-pattern together and Ryan had to admit that he secretly liked this stage of their relationship. He could feel sure about Eric's interest, Eric's feelings for him, but they were both still being tentative, still eager and their relationship was still bright and new and shiny. Ryan secretly enjoyed this stage, where all the insecurities and the insane guessing as to whether the other person felt the same were over, but where they hadn't quite figured out the rules yet. Then again, Ryan couldn't help but look forward to whatever would come next too.

Eric's smile was broad and soft, the kind of smile that had Ryan feeling warm all over and it really wasn't fair that Eric was giving him that smile right there in the break room. That smile should not be allowed at work, like so many other things that weren't allowed at work. The door to the break room opened and immediately both Ryan and Eric scooted a few inches apart, acting as if they were discussing the case instead of Eric coming over for something that would no doubt end with the both of them curled up in bed together. Naked.

Ryan looked up to see who had walked in and his heart nearly stopped when he recognized Horatio walking towards the coffeepot on the counter. He turned to look at Eric, who was staring at the file Ryan was holding with such an intensity Ryan was surprised the papers hadn't caught on fire yet. Ryan hadn't said anything about their relationship to Horatio yet. After all, Horatio didn't know that Ryan was gay and Ryan hadn't had a chance to tell him so. He was worried about the reaction, worried about what Horatio would think of him if he found that his son was gay.

Ryan knew that he'd have to tell Horatio, but he wasn't nearly ready for it yet. He'd only talked to Horatio, as Horatio's son, twice, once on the phone and once in person. He wasn't ready yet to tell Horatio about something that important in his life. But at the same time, he was afraid of building up a father-son relationship with Horatio and then have it all shatter to pieces when Ryan told his father the truth and Horatio didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Ryan stood from his seat and cleared his throat. "Hey H."

Eric made a noise in the back of his throat that Horatio probably, hopefully, couldn't hear and then said: "Hey Horatio."

Horatio turned around and leaned against the counter, sharp blue eyes went from Ryan's face back to Eric's and something almost close to a realisation passed through his eyes, but it faded before it could take hold. He gave them both a nod and smiled. "How's the case going?"

Ryan shrugged. "I'm going to talk to Robert Robertson, he's definitely got something to do with this."

Horatio nodded.

Eric stood from his seat. "I still have some paperwork to do, I better get going."

_Coward_, Ryan thought, watching Eric flee the scene, but he could only think it with fondness.

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ryan hated being uncomfortable and unfortunately in the past week he'd been in many uncomfortable situations. He'd explained to his…boyfriend?… who his real parents were. He'd talked to his uncle about not really being related. And he'd talked to his real parents, although it hadn't really been talking. He'd hardly spoken to his real mother, to Laura, who'd been watching him with that calm understanding and acceptance that Ryan didn't know how to handle. He'd talked to Horatio, had connected to him through hugs and tugs and the word 'Dad' that had finally been given voice.

Today he found himself sitting in front of Laura Haigh, in a small café near the crime lab. He'd called her when he'd gotten home from shift yesterday, when she'd given him her phone number. And now here they were and it was so silent, Laura didn't press him to talk and she didn't chatter him to death. But he almost wished that she would, just so the silence wouldn't be so oppressive. And damnit, he wanted to connect to her, wanted to reach out to her and why was it so difficult?

The phantom image of Rachel Wolfe washed over him at the thought. The way she'd smiled at him when he'd been a child, the strained look on her face in airports, the way she'd talked and talked and kept talking if he was silent enough for the both of them. He remembered the look on her face when he told her about moving to Miami, how she managed to slip in the subject of moving back to Boston in every e-mail and every phone conversation. He remembered the stark blond tone of her hair that had come out of a bottle in later years. He remembered crawling into her bed at night when he'd had a nightmare and seeing scary faces in her hair at the back of her head.

He shook his head and cleared his throat. "How did the meeting with Walters go?"

Laura smiled. "It was good, for a change. I mean, the evidence actually proved that the situation wasn't as bad as it had been made out to be and that's a rarity in my line of work."

"I'm sure." Ryan said, trying to insert a note of humour in his voice and not entirely sure that he was succeeding.

"How was it at the morgue?"

"Not so good, the body…. She was messed up pretty bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Have you caught the guy yet?"

"Not yet, but we're working on it. We have a deadline of three days though because the feds want to take over. I'm afraid we're at a dead end at the moment, we're waiting on test results to come back." Ryan said. A lot of people thought that being the life of a CSI was constantly looking for fingerprints and the like, but a great deal of the time they were waiting on test results to come back. More often then not CSI's worked several cases at the same time, because otherwise they'd had nothing to do all day, and in a city like Miami there was definitely plenty of crime to go around.

Laura nodded in understanding. Ryan realized that she probably did understand, after all she'd been the wife of one of the most dedicated police officers in the field. And how had that come about?

"So… how did you and Horatio meet?"

Laura gave him a look from across the table, she sipped her coffee and smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She was wearing a white blouse and black slacks and sleek, sensible black pumps. When he saw her he dumbly wondered how many pairs of shoes she had. Rachel had two pair, one for casual and one for formal occasions. For the three times he'd seen Laura (four if you count the time he saw her through the glass walls), she'd worn a different pair of shoes every time.

"We met through Raymond, actually, your uncle. He introduced us to each other. I met Raymond through a case, back in New York and after that we worked together for a couple of times and we became friends. After a while he said that I should let him introduce me to his big brother, Raymond said that he could just tell that I'd be perfect for him. And he'd told Horatio that he'd met a girl that would be just perfect for his big brother."

She laughed, bright and easy.

"I owed Ray a favour and he promised me that if I just went on a date with Horatio, we'd be even. So… I agreed to go, even if I'd had a firm 'No Blind Dates'-policy for years. But Horatio didn't. He had a thing about not allowing Ray to set him up with anyone, apparently he'd had bad experiences with that before. Ray finally managed to convince him a couple of weeks after Ray had brought it up with me. He used to say that he'd literally hounded Horatio until he cracked."

"So, we decided to meet at this bar in New York. It was a wine bar and they served this really dark, really smooth, red wine. I have a penchant for red wine ever since. And I remember that Ray had warned me to look out for a red-haired guy in a dark suit, so I was watching the door for any sign of red-hair. I remember, seeing him for the first time, I remember thinking… that he was very handsome."

She laughed again and there was a blush on her cheeks. "I can't say that we hit it off immediately, there were a lot of awkward silences. We drank red wine and tried to talk but we were quite uncomfortable with each other, I think. But despite that, Horatio asked if he could take me out again and… I agreed. We dated for a while and then started a relationship with each other. I moved in with him after we'd been together for about a year and a half. Two years after that Horatio asked me to marry him."

Ryan smiled and took a sip of his coffee. "When did you decide to have kids?"

"We started talking about having children while we were living together, but we decided to wait. Then we got married and we both really wanted to have children. But Horatio was doubtful about raising a family in a place like New York, he was worried about the danger of living in the city with a family. I mean, he'd seen what could happen to children in New York, he'd seen it in his line of work and he was worried."

"We talked about it a lot. We both wanted to have children, and while Horatio was worried about what might happen, I was always at pains to point out that there were a lot of families that did make it work and that something could always happen, no matter where you lived. He was still worried, but about a year after we'd gotten married, we decided to go for it anyway. And then there you were."

She had a dreamy look in her eyes. "I'm still not entirely sure why or how he changed his mind. I remember being afraid that we'd never have children if Horatio couldn't make up his mind, or that he'd make up his mind against it. He was still worried during my pregnancy and he changed his mind about a dozen times, but the day you were born…. "

She trailed off and shook her head. She took another sip from her coffee and smiled at him. "You'll have to ask him about what made him change his mind. I've never asked, I never felt the need to. I do know that he was very glad that he'd decided to have you, despite his concerns. He loved….. He loves you very much."

Ryan could feel a rush of affection brush across his system and he couldn't stop the smile flitting across his face. He cleared his throat and quickly swallowed half of his coffee in want of something to do. He wanted to ask 'What about you? Do you love me very much?' but swallowed the words back into his throat. Instead, he decided to ask another question, a question that had been niggling in his brain since yesterday.

"When we talked yesterday, you sounded… wistful when you talked about Horatio asking you out."

Laura just looked at him for a moment and then gave him the same wistful smile she'd given him yesterday. "I did, did I? Well, I suppose a part of me is always … looking back." The wistful smile seemed to melt from her face, revealing something sad and sombre as she gazed into her coffee cup. One of her nails tapped against the porcelain, making a 'rat-tappa-tat' sound.

"When I married Horatio, I'd planned to spend the rest of my life with him. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, I knew that relationships and marriage needed hard work to succeed. I knew that love wasn't always enough to keep a marriage going. But I honestly thought that we could make it. I thought we'd love each other forever, or at least for the rest of my life. When we had you, that belief only strengthened because we weren't just a married couple anymore, we were a family."

"And then you were kidnapped. I can't explain to you how we felt when that happened. I can't explain the fear, the uncertainty. I can't explain how the not-knowing gnawed at us, at our relationship. We tried to work at it, tried to get past the loneliness we felt, tried to get past the anger and the grief. We tried to have another baby, but I suffered a miscarriage and after that I couldn't have any more children. I think that did us in. Horatio is a good man and I still loved him, still wanted to share my life with him, but…you need more then love to keep a marriage going."

She racked a hand through her hair and released a deep breath. "I couldn't stay with him. And he couldn't stay with me. So we decided to break up. I left the memories behind me, most of them anyway, like the house and all the things that we shared. Horatio managed to live with them, somehow. I couldn't have done that."

Ryan considered her as he listened to her talk and took a slow sip of her coffee. He bit his lip and looked down into his cup. "You didn't remarry after you and Horatio got divorced."

Laura shook her head. "No, I didn't. I never fell in love with anyone else. I mean, there were people I was attracted to, of course there were. I dated for a while and there were some relationships, not all of them were brief or bad… But I … I never quite got over your father." Her smile was sad.

Ryan fidgeted in his seat. "And if he asked you out now?"

The underlying question _Do you still love him? _resonated through the air between them but remained unsaid.

Her sad smile was replaced by a chuckling grin, her teeth completely bared. "If he asked me out now? I'd probably say yes. Curiosity satisfied?" There was a twinkle in her eyes and Ryan felt himself blush under the gentle teasing.

He grinned back at her, still a little uncomfortable but smothering it with the desire for this to be easy. "For now."

Her eyes twinkled again and her smile didn't falter. "And what about you? Any romance in your life?"

It was the first time she'd actively inquired into his personal life. It still didn't feel like pushing though, there was only honest curiosity on her face and Ryan shifted in his seat, clasping his coffee cup in his hands. He cleared his throat and quelled the urge to tug at the collar of his shirt. There were only so many nervous ticks one could explain away until it became painfully obvious that a nerve had been struck.

He didn't know what to answer. "I… I think so, yeah."

A dark eyebrow rose in question and for a minute Ryan had to think of Alexx, who'd always given him that look when she knew that there was something more then he was telling her. After Alexx gave him the eyebrow she practically forced him to confess. He swallowed the remains of his coffee and made a rash decision.

"I eum…. I have a boyfriend, sort of."

The other eyebrow joined the first into nearly disappearing into Laura's hairline. "Sort of? What does 'sort of' mean?"

Ryan stared at her for a full moment, unsure if Laura's failing to mention the 'boyfriend' was a good or a bad thing. "Eum, well, we haven't really talked about that sort of thing yet. Everything's been kind of hectic lately, but we're in love and we want to have something together. We just haven't talked about having a relationship yet, or not seeing other people."

Laura nodded and fiddled with her cup for a minute. Ryan watched as a little furrow came up between her brows and she absentmindedly chewed on her bottom lip. Her nails drummed a rhythm on the porcelain surface of the cup. Ryan could tell she was nervous and he wondered if that was a good or a bad sign.

He lowered his eyes to the table top. "I haven't told anyone yet, about me being gay. I mean… obviously the boyfriend knows and a few of my friends from patrol know, not a lot of them though. But I mean that I haven't told Horatio yet and I'm a bit… nervous about that. He's not only my … father, eum, but he's also my boss."

Ryan became aware that he was babbling. Laura had stopped fiddling with her cup and drumming her fingers and she reached out with one hand to cover his. "Ryan, it's fine. I was just… surprised. I've been getting a lot of surprises lately. Are you happy, with the boyfriend?"

Ryan gave her a week smile. "Yeah, I am happy with the boyfriend."

She gave him a genuine smile. "Good, as long as you're happy."

Ryan sighed with relief. "I was a bit… worried."

"That's understandable, of course. But you're my son Ryan and I want you to be happy, that's all that matters. I'm absolutely positive that Horatio would agree with me on this one."

To Be Continued…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ryan ran a hand through his hair and smoothed out a few imaginary wrinkles in his neatly pressed, white button-down shirt. The shirt was tucked into his black slacks and his black jacket fitted him perfectly. He was wearing his good dress shoes and they were shined to perfection. He ran another hand over his hair, even though it didn't do much good, he'd gotten it cut again lately and it was back into the short style he preferred. He checked his appearance in the mirror and frowned, maybe he was over-doing it.

"It's just a family dinner." He told his reflection in the mirror.

"Nervous?"

Ryan turned around and gave Eric, who was leaning against the side of the doorway, a crooked smile.

"Is it that obvious?" He asked.

Eric smiled and his eyes racked over Ryan's body. The look on his face was so utterly predatory that it lit a fire in Ryan's belly. A fire that could start something Ryan didn't have time to finish. He cleared his throat and looked away from Eric's eyes.

"Your fidgeting gave you away. But don't worry, you've already met Yelina and Frank so you don't have to worry about good first impressions. Besides… you look good."

Ryan smiled and turned back to look in the mirror, checking his appearance once more. He knew that he was probably being silly and that he was nervous for no real reason. But he was going to have dinner at Horatio's place tonight and Laura, Yelina, Ray jr. and Frank were all going to be there. It was for all intents and purposes, a family dinner and Ryan desperately wanted it to go well. As a result he'd been getting worked up over it ever since he'd made the arrangements with Horatio. If he kept it up all the stress would give him a heart-attack.

"What if they don't like me?" Ryan asked. "I mean I know they respect me as a CSI and I know that they like me as a human being, but what if they don't like me as a … member of the family?"

Eric smiled and pushed himself away from the doorway with his shoulder. He approached the other man from the back and wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist, his hands resting comfortably on Ryan's belly. Eric pressed a kiss on the side of Ryan's neck and smiled. He nuzzled the soft skin and lightly bit at it, careful not to leave a mark. He lifted his head and met Ryan's eyes in the mirror.

"They'll love you. They won't be able to help themselves, trust me." Eric's voice was soft and reassuring and it made Ryan want to kiss him. But suddenly his voice changed to teasing. "Now, stop worrying and get going, you don't want to be late, do you?"

About two goodbye-kisses and twenty minutes later, Ryan parked his car in front of Horatio's house. He took a deep breath and checked his hair in the rear-view mirror. He tried to re-arrange his hair a couple of times, but it was simply too short to do anything else (except stand up in the back after a shower). Ryan was well-aware that he was stalling, but couldn't quite help himself. Situations like these could turn out to be oh so painful and Ryan really, really wanted this to work out. He took another deep breath and got out of the car. He made sure all the doors were locked and then, finally, approached the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently.

Horatio opened the door and smiled broadly when he saw Ryan. The red-head was dressed in black slacks and a dove grey button-down shirt tucked into the slacks. The two top buttons were undone and his hair was as neat as ever. The sight was an odd mix of the familiar and the unfamiliar, of the boss and the father. Ryan smiled back and wondered whether he should hug the man or shake his hand.

"Hey d-dad." He stumbled over the title, as he had the previous time. But Horatio either didn't notice or pretended not to. Ryan suspected it was the later rather then the former.

"Hey Ryan, come in."

Horatio stepped aside so that Ryan could enter and closed the door behind him. Ryan hung up his jacket on the coat hanger. He followed Horatio into the living room where Laura and Frank were sitting on the sofa and talking together. They looked up when he and Horatio entered the room. Laura stood and walked over to them. She was dressed in a dark red dress and wore black shoes with a low heel. Her hair hung loose about her face, a few locks tucked behind her ear. She lay a hand on his shoulder and gave him a kiss on his cheeks.

"Hey Ryan."

Ryan hesitated for a brief moment and then smiled. "Hey mom."

Laura positively beamed up at him, her smile so wide and happy that any of the Rachel-tinted guilt inside his head was driven out for the moment.

Frank had stood from his seat too. He was wearing a white button-down shirt tucked into his beige slacks and an orange tie. He shook Ryan's hand, his large hand had a very grip, and he gave Ryan a gruff smile.

"It's good to have you back Ryan."

Ryan could feel a smile lighting across his face. "Thanks Frank, it's …its good to be here."

Laura was still beaming and Horatio had that unfamiliar smile on his face that Ryan hoped would become familiar soon enough and Frank was looking gruffly satisfied. They sat down together, Laura and Frank back on the sofa and Ryan sat down in the armchair. Horatio disappeared into the kitchen for drinks. He was serving red wine and Laura winked at him.

Ryan smiled back. "I guess you're not the only one with a penchant for red wine?"

Laura laughed.

Frank watched the interaction with interest. He knew that Laura must have been desperate to reconnect with her son but he also knew her well enough to realize that she'd be deathly afraid to drive her son away by seeming overly eager or pressuring him into accepting her. He'd wondered how she'd find a balance between those two desires and it seemed that whatever balance Laura had found worked rather well. Ryan seemed at ease, even if there was still a trace of nervousness in his eyes, he seemed comfortable enough for a situation like this.

"So Horatio told me you managed to wrap up the serial-killer case?" Laura asked, breaching a subject that Ryan would feel comfortable talking about, his work. It was a safe topic for conversation.

Ryan nodded. "Yeah, we almost didn't make the deadline, but we got him. He was… good, methodical. He was prepared for CSI's procedures, he was careful about leaving evidence behind. But… we were better."

The last was said with a bashful smile and Laura grinned in answer and Frank realized that he hadn't seen her grin like that or hadn't heard her laugh like that for quite a long time. After the disappearance of her son, Laura had become quieter, more sorrowful, more patient and more in tune with the pain of the world around her. She'd lost the easy smile and the loud laughter that was a trademark when she and Horatio and Ryan had still been the happy family.

Oh, she'd never become as drawn back as Horatio. The red-haired man had taken his self-exile from the world to the extreme, shutting himself off from the world until he came back with a vengeance, striking with a deadly skill at criminals, putting them away, hunting them down ruthlessly. And if anyone dared to lay a hand on a child, they'd feel the cold scream of anger nurtured over years dripping from Horatio's voice, which was sometimes enough to make the culprit confess.

Laura's grief had gentled her, in the sad, heart-broken kind of way. She'd gained a lot of perspective on the world, but Frank had always believed that that perspective had come at too high a cost. He was just glad that his friends seemed to be coming loose once again, seemed to lose some of the tension bearing down on them. He was just glad that they seemed to consider happiness an option in their lives again. It had been far too long.

He listened with only half an ear as Ryan talked about the case and asked about Laura's work in return. He briefly wondered how Yelina and Ray jr. would react to seeing Ryan. Because while Frank had worked with Ryan for two and a half years now, it still had been a shock to see him as Ryan Caine, son of his best friend instead of Ryan Wolfe, part of Horatio Caine's team.

When Horatio came back with the wine, he caught the lieutenant's eyes and grinned. Horatio grinned back, a grin Frank hadn't seen in twenty-three years. About ten minutes after that Horatio had to get up again to answer the door, it seemed that Yelina and Ray Jr. had arrived. Frank noticed Ryan tensing briefly before continuing his conversation with Laura. Frank nearly chuckled out loud, it seemed that Ryan was worried about meeting the family.

Yelina looked stunning dressed in a white dress that reached just above her knees. She was wearing white high heels and large loops of silver hung from her ears. There was a broad smile on her face. Ray came in behind her and it seemed that his mother had forced him to wear something a bit more formal then jeans and a t-shirt as he was dressed in black slacks and a light blue button-down shirt.

Horatio went back into the kitchen and Frank briefly reflected that it was Horatio's favourite hiding place in this house. Yelina and Laura greeted each other through a firm hug and Frank and Yelina shook hands. Laura shook hands with Ray as did Frank and Ray.

Yelina and Laura had kept contact with each other during the years, but they weren't as close as Horatio and Yelina were. They were the kind of friends that exchanged Christmas and birthday cards and who made small talk about their lives when they ran into each other. Ray Junior only knew her as 'aunt Laura', a distant figure who'd once been married to his uncle Horatio.

Ray, Horatio's brother, had kept close contact with Laura after Ryan had disappeared so Laura had met Ray Junior as a baby and as a young child, but then Ray had gone undercover and he'd died. So Ray jr.'s memories of her had grown vague and distant as he'd become a teenager and the contact with aunt Laura had faded away to cards. Though, he'd never been told why aunt Laura hadn't stayed married to uncle Horatio or why uncle Horatio, who obviously adored children, had never had a kid of his own.

Yelina shook Ryan's hand, a broad smile on her face.

"Hello Ryan. It's good to see you again."

He gave her a smile back. "It's good to see you too."

He shook Ray jr. hand next, he didn't' quite know what to say to his cousin and it was obvious that Ray jr. felt the same way. It was possible that Ray jr. felt the bridge between them even more strongly because up until about three weeks ago, he hadn't even been aware that he'd ever had a cousin, or that his uncle Horatio had ever had a child. He'd only heard the whole story about three weeks ago. Even Ryan had about two weeks on him. He was always the last to know everything, he'd thought after his mother had finished explaining.

Ray studied Ryan closely. "So you're uncle Horatio's son?"

Ryan nodded. "Yes, I am."

"Somehow, I'd imagined you had red hair."

Ryan chuckled.

Dinner was a pleasant affair and was hardly strained at all, although there a few unavoidable uncomfortable moments. Ryan didn't talk much, content to listen to others tell stories about their life. He wanted to get to know these people and he wanted these people to get to know him but at the moment he was still far more comfortable listening then speaking. It was so strange to sit there and listen to them and try to feel a part of them, a part of their family. It had been so overwhelming and he'd just needed to get away for a while.

So he'd escaped to the balcony, to the soothing rush of the ocean and the moonlight across the waves. A slight breeze caressed his face as lover's whisper would and he closed his eyes, tipping his head back. He inhaled the salty smell of the air. He opened his eyes again and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

It was overwhelming how much Ryan wanted to be a part of that family. His own emotions were so overwhelming that he didn't quite know what to do with them. If this didn't work out, if this family rejected him because… because he was gay or something…. Ryan didn't know what he'd do then. But, he realized with a sickening crack in his belly, if this family rejected him, he'd have to leave Miami for good. He wouldn't be able to stay in Miami, at the lab. He'd rather move back to Boston. The thought alone made him shiver and he shrugged off the thought. There was no reason to believe that they would reject him. They'd all been lovely and friendly and so very kind. And they were good and open-minded people.

"Needed to get away from the crowd for a while?"

The accent was unmistakable and Ryan didn't need to turn around to know that it was Frank who had joined him on the balcony.

"It's a bit overwhelming." Ryan said, as a way of explanation.

The older man chuckled. "I suppose so, all of this kinda feels like a b-rated movie."

Ryan laughed. "I don't think even I know exactly what I'm feeling right now. There's too much of everything going on right now."

Frank chuckled too and then cleared his throat. "I can't tell you how good it is to have you back, Ryan. Horatio and Laura have been two of my best friends for a long time now and I can't tell you how good it is to see them smiling like that again. It's really good to have you back Ryan, thank you."

Ryan didn't really know what Frank was thanking him for but realized it didn't really matter as he was swept up in a giant bear hug. And for just a second, a flash of memory raced through his skull, of bear hugs and a gruff voice and a hand ruffling his hair. He wrapped his arms around the big Texan's shoulders and held on. It was another tie to a childhood long forgotten and Ryan clutched at it for a moment longer then necessity.

When he was put down on his feet again he smiled as wide as he could and said: "Thanks Frank."

To Be Continued….


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ryan absent-mindedly folded the t-shirt in his hands until he could put it on the stack of folded clothes. He had two piles on the coffee table, one was growing smaller and the other one was growing taller. The light in the living room had been dimmed to one of its lower settings; he didn't feel like the normal bright light. He picked up a pair of pants and started folding them too. Doing laundry didn't require any heavy concentration and he could allow his thoughts to take him wherever they wanted to take him.

Inevitably, his thoughts turned back to Laura and Horatio, his parents. It was still odd to think of them as his parents. He hadn't ever had a father before, Ron had tried to fill that role, but he'd always been an uncle to Ryan and nothing more. He'd had his mother, Rachel, and now Laura was his mother. Horatio was his father. It was still so incredibly odd to think about. Sometimes he couldn't quit reconcile with it, couldn't quite recognize that it was true, but he had to.

He still couldn't believe that he'd actually told Laura that he was gay and that he had a "sort of boyfriend". He'd never even… he'd never even really told Rachel. He'd dropped some hints and he'd never mentioned a girlfriend and he was sure that she'd known, that she'd figured it out on her own. But he'd never confirmed it, had never really, outright, told her…not like he'd told Laura. He'd never really trusted Rachel enough, had always been afraid of her reaction if he'd expressed being anything less then "normal" and he used that term loosely.

In the end he'd chosen to trust Laura more then the woman who'd raised him. He wondered how much that said about him, or how much that said about Rachel.

Angrily, he threw a newly washed t-shirt at the far wall and watched it fall to the ground. This was ridiculous, he shouldn't feel so guilty about this. He shouldn't feel so guilty about trusting Laura, about wanting to love her, about beginning to accept that she was his mother and loving her more then he'd ever loved Rachel. But Rachel was the woman who'd raised him, she'd been his mother his whole life. How could he just… forget about her, like she didn't matter? How could he allow Laura to replace her? How could he accept that?

He sighed and stood to pick up the t-shirt. He deftly shook and beat of all the dirt and dust before folding it and putting it on the right pile. After a few seconds, he took the shirt of the pile and put it in the laundry basket. He'd wash it again with another load the next day. He sat down again and resumed folding the rest of the clean clothes.

The problem was that Laura was his mother too. She cared about him, she was too patient, too understanding not to care about him. She wanted to get to know him and by the smile she'd given him on the night of the family dinner, he knew she wanted him to call her "mom". She wanted to be his mother. And Ryan didn't want to hurt her feelings. He didn't want to push her away because he…

"Damnit!"

"Ryan? You okay?"

Eric's voice startled him and he looked up at the older man.

Ryan shrugged. "I'm fine."

Eric's concerned brown eyes bisected his lie the minute it left his mouth. He sighed and approached Ryan, sitting down on the couch next to him. "Ryan, it's 3 o'clock in the morning and you're doing laundry. I know you have OCD and all, but I also know that it doesn't go into overdrive like this unless something happened. What's going on? You seemed fine when we went to bed."

Ryan sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. He didn't quite know how to explain what was going on. In his head he kept comparing Laura and Rachel and Rachel kept coming up short. And that made him feel all kinds of things he didn't want to feel, or wasn't sure he should feel. But then there was Laura… his emotions were just so conflicted. He didn't know how to explain it.

He sighed and buried his head in his hands. "I had a bad dream and woke up and I …I'm just … having a bit of a rough moment, with everything that's happening."

Bad dream was an understatement, Ryan thought, a slight shudder crawling down his back. In his dream he'd been talking to Laura, only they were at the house Ryan had grown up in, the one in Boston, and as he talked her face melted away to be replaced with Rachel's, the one she'd carried with her to her grave, burned as a cinder. The hollows in her skull where her eyes used to be had looked at him angrily. Her mouth spread open in a soundless scream, one fleshless finger pointed at him in accusation.

Eric gave him an assessing look. "You mean with Horatio and Laura. I thought the family dinner thing went well?"

Ryan shrugged, shaking of the ghostly remains of his dream. "It did go well."

"Then what's the problem?" Eric sounded confused and Ryan couldn't blame him, he was confused too.

"I told Laura I was gay a couple of days ago." Ryan said.

Eric tensed. "What did she say?"

"She said that, as long as I was happy, she'd be happy for me."

Eric relaxed. "Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?"

"You don't understand Eric," Ryan said, aware that he didn't completely understand it himself. "I never even told Rachel that I was gay. She raised me for years and years and I never told her I was gay, I never trusted her enough. But I've only known Laura for about two weeks and I've already told her. I trusted her. How can I trust her like that, Eric?"

The older man sighed and wrapped an arm around Ryan's shoulders, trying to comfort him. "Because she's your mother."

Ryan pulled away angrily and went to stand in front of the glass doors, looking out over the deck. "But that's just it, Eric. She's not my mother, she didn't raise me. She didn't teach me what was right or wrong, she didn't watch me grow up. She wasn't around when I was nine and I broke my arm. She's not the woman who's cared about me my whole life. That was Rachel. Rachel's my mother."

"Except for the fact that Rachel wasn't really your mother and kidnapped you!" Eric said, his eyes flashing.

Ryan gritted his teeth and turned around to face Eric. "But she raised me, Eric! She loved me, she looked after me. She was my mother. How can I allow Laura to replace her?"

Eric gave him a soft, concerned look. It was the kind of look that made Ryan's knees go weak, and Eric knew it. "Ryan…"

"No! Isn't it… wrong of me, to want to replace Rachel with Laura? Isn't it wrong of me to love Laura like that when I had Rachel all my life, when she was the one who raised me, the one who cared for me? Isn't it wrong of me to hate her for what she did to me?"

Ryan's voice had gotten smaller and smaller near the end and he now he looked so utterly confused and upset that Eric's heart ached. He wanted to reach out and gather Ryan into his arms, but he wasn't sure if that was a good move right now. Ryan was clearly agitated and upset, and maybe he thought that Eric would fight with him over this.

"Ryan, come on, come sit down." Eric beckoned and Ryan slowly moved to sit down next to him. "Ryan, tell me, do you feel this way about Horatio too?"

Ryan shook his head. "No, but then again I never grew up with my… Rachel's husband. Horatio is filling an empty place in my life, there wasn't ever anyone there for Horatio to replace."

Eric nodded, thinking deeply, trying to say the right things. "Ryan, I can understand that you feel guilty about it, but this woman robbed you of your real parents."

Ryan sighed, sounding completely frustrated and small and incredibly young. "Logically, I know that Eric… but she was my mom."

Eric couldn't resist this time and he wrapped his arms around Ryan, pulling him into a tight hug. He buried his head in the nape of Ryan's neck and kissed the soft, vulnerable skin there. "Rachel…. She's always going to be a part of you, because you have a whole life of memories of her and she helped shape you into the person you became."

"But Ryan… she's gone and you can't ask her anything or you can't try to understand her and try to assuage your guilt that way. You're going to have to accept that Rachel kidnapped you and you have to move past it, you have to let go of those regrets. And you have to accept that Laura is still here and she loves you and that it's alright for you to love her too."

"Despite the fact that she didn't raise you, despite the fact that Rachel raised you, you can still love Laura like a mother. And despite of what Rachel did… you have to forgive her, it's the only way for you to stop hating her and to stop feeling guilty about everything. I know it's going to be difficult, almost impossible, but you're going to have to forgive her." Eric whispered.

Ryan was shaking in his arms now and it took Eric a few minutes to realize that Ryan was crying, muffled tears and hiccups against Eric's shirt. Eric softly rocked him back and forth, trying to bring Ryan some comfort. It couldn't be easy, torn between two people like that and Eric couldn't imagine what it was like to find out that his mother had kidnapped him and deal with that. He just wanted to make sure that Ryan got through it, and Eric would stand by Ryan no matter what.

Slowly the sobs started to ebb away and Ryan calmed down, his breathing settling. It wouldn't be easy to accept everything, it wouldn't be easy to forgive Rachel for what she'd done and it wouldn't be easy to fully accept Laura as his mother, but Ryan would try. It would take time and hard work, but Ryan really, really wanted this to work. And Eric knew that.

They were quiet together for a while and Eric enjoyed the simple pleasure of holding Ryan close to him. He could feel the arousal that Ryan always stirred in him, but it had settled in his stomach as a pleasurable warmth and there was no sexual urge in it. Just holding Ryan right now, was enough, to hold him close and revel in the emotions Ryan always managed to evoke inside of him. Besides, Ryan didn't need that kind of attention from Eric right now.

"So…. Did you tell Laura that I was your boyfriend or did you stick with 'I'm gay'?" Eric asked after a while, deadly curious.

Ryan suddenly went very still in his arms and slowly pulled away to look at him, there was a soft, almost shy, smile on his face. "I told her I had a 'sort of boyfriend'."

Eric frowned. "'Sort of boyfriend'? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well… I didn't know if we were going exclusive or if we were just…"

"Just what?" If Eric sounded a bit intimidating and angry, it totally wasn't his fault.

"Just messing around." The words were mumbled while Ryan looked away from him, but Eric could understand them perfectly anyway.

"Ryan! I love you, of course we're not 'just messing around'. I'm your boyfriend, partner, whatever you wanna call it. And you can be sure as hell that we're going exclusive." Eric said, the thought of Ryan seeing anyone else made him feel so… devastated. He swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat.

Ryan always managed to get an emotional reaction out of him.

The younger man turned back to face Eric and smiled slyly. "So no one else huh?"

"Damn straight." Eric muttered, glaring at Ryan.

"Well, if you are my partner… Then I suppose I'm going to have to tell my dad soon and our boss and… one of us is going to have to transfer out of day shift…. According to the new IAB rules, co-workers aren't allowed to date, remember?"

"I'll do it." Eric said, immediately. "I'll transfer to swing shift."

Ryan smiled broadly, feeling inexplicably pleased, a warm glow settling in his stomach. Being on Horatio's team meant so much to the both of them and Ryan knew that. The fact that Eric was willing to give that up for him, warmed his heart in more ways then Ryan could possibly explain. "As much as I appreciate that, and I do appreciate it… I'm going to have to decline."

Eric made a sound of protest but Ryan held up his hand, cutting him off.

"Now hear me out. If I stay in day shift and it becomes public knowledge that I am Horatio's son, then everyone is going to assume that's the reason I got the job. I'll always be underneath Horatio's shadow and as soon as I get into trouble with IAB for some reason, Horatio won't be able to back me up because it'll be "daddy protecting his little boy" instead of H just sticking up for someone on his team. I won't do that to either of us, not to Horatio and not to myself."

"If I transfer to swing shift, it'll kill two birds with one stone. We'll be able to circumvent the new rules of IAB and be together. And every career advancement I make in swing shift will be on my own merit and not because the boss is my father. I'll be on my own and it might not be easy for a while… especially because I think Walters, head of swing shift, has the hots for Laura… but I can do it and I want to do it. It's best for everyone."

Eric nodded, a bit reluctantly, but he needed anyway. "I do have one question though…"

"What's that?"

"How is it going to become public knowledge that you're Horatio's son? I mean, no one knows now, why does anyone have to know? No one knew before."

"Because we're going to have to file a report that my kidnapping case is solved, some of my medical facts will have to be altered, because I'll have a complete new family history. My birthday will have to be changed, my records in the lab will have to be altered… I'm thinking about changing my last name back to Caine." Ryan couldn't help the flush that spread over his cheeks at the last word.

He had been thinking about it for a while, ever since he'd called Horatio "dad" for the first time. But he wasn't sure how Horatio would feel about it and he wasn't sure if it was such a good idea. But somewhere he thought that it might be necessary. He'd been Ryan Wolfe all his life and it was time to be Ryan Caine again, after 23 years.

Eric was looking at him, his coffee-coloured eyes smiling and filled with mischief. "Well, you make a very good point. You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Caine."

To Be Continued…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Horatio stood near the police tape surrounding the crime scene and studied two of his subordinates, two of his team members talking. Eric and Ryan were processing the crime scene, Ryan was taking pictures with his camera and Eric was crouched down on the ground, squinting at something he was holding up with a pair of tweezers. They were chatting comfortably and although the sight wasn't entirely unfamiliar, there was something there that Horatio had never seen before. He just wasn't sure as to what it was.

As he watched, Ryan laughed at something Eric said and he looked oddly… comfortable, although Horatio thought that comfortable might not be right word. He looked away, feeling as if he was intruding on something somehow, even if he had no idea on what. He frowned to himself, he should be focusing on the case, not on his son and a mutual friend of theirs. Still, as he talked to several eyewitnesses, he couldn't help but sneak glances at the pair of CSI's and wonder what he was missing, what detail he was overlooking. What was it that he couldn't see?

Horatio was curious, he was a curious man, it was in his nature. It was probably one of the reasons he'd become a CSI, or why he'd become a cop. He usually tried to keep his nose out of other people's business and he usually had a firm enough of a grip on his curiosity. But Ryan seemed to break that restraint, he wanted to know everything about his son, everything about the boy that had grown up without him. Horatio Caine was a curious, curious man. And right now his curiosity was driving him crazy.

"Curiosity killed the cat," he murmured under his breath, his eyes squinting against the harsh light from the sun. He reached for his sunglasses.

"What was that, H?"

"Oh, nothing Frank." Horatio said, slipping his sunglasses on and turning his attention back to the case, or trying to anyway.

He talked to more eyewitnesses, went over some evidence found at the scene with Frank, Eric and Ryan. He talked briefly to Alexx as she came to examine the body. He checked on another crime scene Calleigh was working at and exchanged a few words with her about the case. He was confident that his team could handle their own cases, but he still needed to keep an eye on them. He was the supervisor after all.

After Horatio had gotten back to the lab, he saw them together again. During his investigation of the crime scenes, he'd almost managed to put the matter out of his head, but seeing them together reminded him and re-awakened his curiosity. He took a moment to study them through the glass walls. They were standing in the trace lab, evidence spread out on the lab table while they were talking. They were standing side by side, so close that they were almost touching. Their voices were pitched low and their heads were close together, as if they were afraid that they'd be overheard. Yet they looked completely comfortable. It was driving him insane.

He stepped inside, "Gentlemen, what do we got?"

They explained several test results to him, debated a few theories, talked about bringing suspects in while they moved in tandem to put a subtle distance between their bodies that hadn't been there before Horatio had entered the lab. He cocked his head sideways, listening intently, while he narrowed his eyes at them slightly. There was something there and he could almost…see…it…Huh!

He blinked several times in surprise, but otherwise didn't show any sign of his revelation. Well, that was certainly unexpected, Horatio though idly as he watched his son and his son's …friend…boyfriend? He'd never really thought about Ryan being gay because Horatio tried to stay out of his co-worker's personal lives. And Eric…well…Eric was Eric, he hadn't wanted to think too much on Eric's all too public escapades in the past.

He narrowed his eyes again, studying them carefully. They were acting as professionally as always and obviously weren't afraid to shoot down each other's theories like they always had. It didn't seem to be affecting their jobs. They weren't acting any differently, if it hadn't been for their subtle body language and Horatio's trained eye combined with years of experience, Horatio probably wouldn't have noticed anything. Still, the new rules stated that they shouldn't be dating if they were working together, or the other way around. But… what IAB didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

It was something he'd do for any team member, Horatio thought, IAB definitely wouldn't hear about it from him.

"Good work." He said, accepted the file Ryan handed to him and walked out of the trace lab. He briefly wondered what Eric and Ryan had been talking about before he'd entered the lab before shoving it out of his thoughts. It was private, more private then Horatio could ever have suspected at first, and it wasn't his business. It wouldn't be his business until Ryan trusted him enough to tell him about it.

He entered his office and sat down behind the desk, resigning himself to finishing some paperwork. He supposed that Ryan had his reasons for not telling him, it wasn't easy for anyone, not even in this day and age. Then taking their line of work into account and it wasn't a pretty picture. Cops weren't exactly known for their tolerance towards homosexuals. Whatever Ryan's reasons were, Horatio wouldn't push for them. If Ryan needed time, Ryan would get time.

He hoped that Ryan would trust him enough soon and that Ryan knew that Horatio wasn't the kind of man to condemn anyone for their sexual orientation, much less his own son. He wondered how long this new thing between Ryan and Eric had been going on. There had been something going on before Ryan had left for Boston, at the time Horatio had assumed that Eric had been worried for a co-worker who had become a good friend, but now he wasn't sure. It could have been another thing that Horatio had missed.

He was debating to himself whether or not to pick up the phone to call Laura when a knock on his door startled him from his musings. He glanced at the digital clock of his laptop and winced when he realized he'd been in his office for about an hour now and hadn't made a dent in his paperwork. He loved his job, he really did, but he hated the paperwork.

"Come in."

The door opened and Ryan stepped inside the room, he had a smile on his face. "Hey H, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you."

Horatio nodded, secretly glad for the interruption in his paperwork-time, and beckoned Ryan forward. "Take a seat Ryan."

Ryan's smile didn't exactly disappear, but it changed to a slightly more serious smile as he took a seat. "Thanks H. I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while now, but something happened yesterday that finalized the decision in my opinion."

Horatio nodded, not quite understanding where Ryan was going, but giving him his full attention to find out. It seemed that Ryan was here strictly for Horatio the boss and not Horatio the dad, which was just as well, they didn't have room for that at work. He wondered briefly if this had anything to do with Eric and Ryan's relationship with him and put the thought out of his mind. "Alright."

"I've been thinking about transferring to swing shift."

Horatio felt those words hit him like a blow to the gut. Ryan wanted to leave his team, it wasn't something he'd prepared himself for. "Swing shift?"

"Yes. It's not that I want to leave the team all of a sudden. It's more of a … necessity. This is necessary, both for my career and the security of my job. When people find out that I'm your son, they're going to assume that it's the reason you gave me my job, even if we tell them that we didn't find out until afterwards, it won't matter. It'll discredit your reputation and mine, especially if I continue to work on your team. I don't want that happen."

Ryan looked serious, his face grim and his serious smile had faded. His tone was very matter off fact. His eyes were pleading with Horatio to understand. He cleared his throat.

"If I ever get in trouble again with IAB or anything, you backing me up won't be a boss taking sides with his subordinates, or a lieutenant looking out for a team member, it'll be daddy protecting his son. Any advancement I make on this team, people will think it's because I'm your son, even if you're not the kind of person to allow our connection to affect our working relationship."

"On swing shift I'll be able to further my own career and prove my worth working for a man who isn't connected to me in any way. I'll be able to make promotions, if I get in trouble and I need backing up, Walters can do it without people being suspicious of it. It's nothing personal, Horatio, it's not that I don't want to be on your team, it's just that it's… best."

Ryan had kept eye contact with him through out his explanation and his voice had remained steady, even if it cracked a bit on the last word. Working on Horatio's team had always been important to Ryan, that he'd been on the Horatio Caine's team. It had been important, had felt like an accomplishment that went beyond being a CSI and it was incredibly difficult giving that up. But the things he'd gain by giving that up were worth more then Ryan could ever express in words.

Horatio smiled at him and there was a glint in his eyes that eerily reminded Ryan of when Horatio had found the clue that would solve the case and made the right connections. "Those are the only reasons?"

Ryan hesitated and he could feel the blush rushing to his face. He didn't want to lie to Horatio, as if he would be able to, and he didn't want to tell the truth yet either. "Well, dad… I…"

Horatio shook his head. "That's okay, Ryan, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'll tell you what, I'll get the paperwork going about getting you a transfer for swing shift, I imagine that we can find someone on swing shift who'd be willing to change shifts with you. I'll talk to Walters about it and see what we can do. How is that?"

Ryan smiled broadly. "Thanks a lot, H."

Horatio smiled back, even if he didn't particularly feel like smiling. He knew that Ryan made sense, that his explanation made sense and that he was absolutely right. Yet Horatio hated to lose such a talented CSI on his team and he hated the fact that he wouldn't be able to stand up for his son if it was necessary. Then again, his son didn't need him to stand up for him anymore. Ryan was all grown up and needed to fight his own battles.

"Dad...There's something else that I wanted to ask."

Horatio nodded, still forcing himself to keep smiling. "Go ahead."

Ryan fidgeted and shifted in his seat. "I was eum… We're going to have 'solve' my kidnapping case soon and we need to seriously alter my file and my information and stuff and I was wondering if… after we've reported it and after I've been transferred to swing shift and while we're getting my personal file all fixed… I'd like to change my name."

"Change your name?"

Ryan nodded. "Yes, I'd like to change my last name Wolfe back to Caine… if that's alright with you."

There weren't a lot of things left that utterly baffled Horatio Caine, in his line of work he sometimes thought he'd seen and heard it all. He thought that it had prepared him for anything that might come his way. Never mind the fact that he usually saw everything coming a mile away. It didn't escape his notice that every time he felt like he'd walked into an invisible wall it somehow had to do with Ryan. From finding out that he was his son, to be called 'dad' again for the first time in 23 years and now…. Ryan wanted to be a Caine again, and Horatio couldn't find the words to tell him how much that meant to him.

His smile broadened and became far more genuine. "Of course that's alright with me, Ryan. I…I'm honoured that you're willing to take my name again."

Ryan flushed red, secretly pleased with Horatio's words. "It is my real name after all and it's time that I accepted certain things and let go of other things. This is an important step." He cleared his throat, "Well, I should be getting back to work." He hesitated a moment longer, he looked uncertain and Horatio waited patiently.

"Dad, I…" he hesitated again. "Can we go out for coffee tomorrow after shift or something?"

Horatio nodded. "Of course we can."

Ryan smiled, but he still looked nervous, edgy, as if he wasn't sure he should be relieved that Horatio had agreed to meet him. "Thanks dad. I'll talk to you later, H."

"Bye Ryan."

And with that he left the office, closing the door behind him quietly. Horatio stared back down at his paperwork and glared at it. He typed in a couple things in his computer, pulled a few blank files from his desk drawers and put them on his desktop. He picked up his pen and started filling out the forms. If he stabbed a little bit more viciously at the paper then normal, he couldn't be held accountable, he thought grimly.

He could understand Ryan's reasoning and was secretly pleased that his son could think so far ahead and consider all the possibilities. He was proud of Ryan for willing to take those steps. And he was willing to help Ryan transfer into swing shift, after all, he didn't want to do anything that might hold Ryan back. But at the same time, he couldn't help but hope that Ryan wouldn't like Walters.

To Be Continued…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Horatio and Ryan had decided to meet in the same café that Ryan and Laura had gone to for coffee. They were sitting on barstools at one of the high, small, round tables scattered around the place, sipping from hot coffee cups. Despite the fact that it was close to the crime lab and that they served perfectly good coffee, not a lot of cops or people who worked at the lab frequented it. It seemed highly unlikely that they'd be spotted by anyone they worked with. And even so, soon, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Ryan watched Horatio sip his coffee cup and fidgeted in his seat. He thought back on Laura's calm and understanding smile as she told him that Horatio wouldn't mind, that he'd understand, that he'd want Ryan to be happy. He clung to that image, those words for a minute, gathering strength from them. He didn't know what he would do if Horatio decided he couldn't deal with a son who was gay.

He thought back to the smile Horatio had given him when Ryan had asked if it would be alright if he changed his last name back to Caine. Would Horatio demand that Ryan keep the last name of Wolfe? The thought nearly made his throat close up and his eyes water. He wouldn't be able to handle it, if that happened. Horatio had come to mean a lot to him in such a short amount of time, his head was still reeling with the speed of it.

"I want to thank you again, for helping me change shifts." Ryan said, looking for something to say to break the ice. No matter how important Horatio was to him, it was still difficult to find anything to talk about, which could be particularly irritating when Ryan needed to beat around the bush.

Horatio smiled. "It's not a problem Ryan. While I can't say that I'm thrilled to lose such a capable CSI like you, I can certainly understand you're reasoning."

The compliment made Ryan blush and a thread of satisfaction curled around his belly. Horatio wasn't a man who passed around compliments like other men passed around business cards, so every compliment he gave became all the more special. Ryan's need for approval had always forced him to, in part, strive for those compliments. And now that Horatio was his father, it meant a lot more then a simple pat on the back from the boss.

"Yeah, I had a lot of reasons for wanting to change shifts," Ryan said. "But, I didn't tell you all of them."

Horatio merely gave him a look that managed to come off as questioning yet patient at the same time. Ryan didn't know how Horatio managed to do that, but he hoped it was a Caine thing so that maybe Ryan could learn how to do that too. He cleared his throat nervously, the palms of his hands were sweaty and his hands were shaking slightly so he wrapped them around his cup of coffee in an effort to steady them. Or in an effort to mask the trembling.

"I've been seeing someone, on day shift and because of the new IAB rules we can't have a relationship. If I switched to swing shift, we could circumvent those new rules and be together. Along with all the other reasons it made a pretty good case for me to move to swing shift." Ryan said.

Horatio nodded at him, a thoughtful expression on his face as he sipped his coffee. "I wasn't aware that you were seeing anyone."

Ryan took a sip of his coffee, trying to stall for time. If this really was the last moment that Horatio would be accepting him, he wanted it to last as long as it could. "Well, we haven't really been seeing each other for long. After Rachel died, we admitted that we had feelings for each other. But then… the DNA tests happened and I put it on hold, because I didn't want … him… to get involved. And after I found out I went to Boston and when I came back I still had to tell him and then we had our talk…"

Ryan knew full well that he was rambling, hoping to avert attention from the fact that Ryan had definitely mentioned a 'him'. Or maybe he just hoped that with the download of information Horatio would miss the important bit and just interpret Ryan's explanation a little while later. Of course, Horatio Caine never missed the important bits and Ryan knew that. He forced himself to stop talking and took another sip of his coffee, his eyes wandering all over the place without actually looking at Horatio.

The silence was grating away at Ryan's nerves. He was tempted to check his watch and see how long it had been since either of them had said anything. God, what was Horatio thinking? What if he was just so completely shocked and disgusted that he didn't know what to do or say? Maybe he was so shocked that he simply couldn't say anything at all? After a while, Ryan couldn't take it anymore. He took a deep breath, straightened and squared his shoulder and looked up.

Horatio had a smile on his face and looked positively amused. Ryan blinked a couple of times, unsure of what that meant. "I'm not joking, dad… the person I'm transferring for is a 'he'."

Horatio nodded and gave him another amused look. "I did hear you the first time Ryan. I was just considering that I am not nearly as observant as I like to think I am. I only noticed something different about you and Eric a little while before you left for Boston, but I dismissed it at the time. I had no idea you had feelings for each other before that."

Ryan stared at him, his mind racing a hundred miles a minute. "You know." His voice was soft, surprised and shocked.

Horatio nodded. "I did."

Soon enough, Ryan's stare turned into a glare. "You know! And you didn't tell me you knew. How could you let me sweat like that? I was so nervous that you…. That you…" He trailed off and took another hurried sip of his hot coffee, nearly scalding his tongue. He hadn't meant to start in on Horatio like that.

Horatio looked a bit more apologetic at that, but not as much as Ryan would have liked. "To be completely honest I only figured it out a little bit before you came to request a transfer. And I didn't tell you that I knew because… I wanted you to tell me. I thought maybe you weren't ready for me to know, so I decided to wait. Although when you asked me out for coffee I suppose it was pretty obvious what you were going to tell me."

"And you still didn't say anything." Ryan might be pouting, but there was no way he'd admit that to anyone, least of all himself.

Horatio shrugged. "I've missed you all my life Ryan, I've missed you all your life too. All those embarrassing moments that a father and a son go through, I missed that. I missed a lot, I suppose that this was an attempt to catch up on some of that. As your father, I'm sure that there would have been stunts you would have pulled and then I would have liked watching you squirm before I got you to confess to it. This was…almost a replacement for that."

Ryan felt strangely pleased by those words, but refused to let it show. "So… basically you just wanted to watch me squirm."

Horatio grinned at the teasing tone in Ryan's voice. "Basically."

They laughed quietly together and Ryan could feel the relief coursing through his system. He was so relieved that this had changed nothing between them. He was so glad that Horatio didn't hate him for something like that. He was so utterly relieved. "So you don't hate me because I'm gay?"

Horatio shook his head, a serious, solemn look on his face. "Ryan, you're my son, I could never hate you…. I want you to be happy and if being with Eric makes you happy then I have to accept that. That was something I committed to when I decided to have a child. I mean, you don't wonder consciously about whether your child will be gay or not, nothing concrete like that."

"But I feel that if you have a child, you have to realize that while it's your responsibility to raise your child, you also have to accept that your child has to be their own person. They might end up being completely different from you, or they might end up being quite similar. But whatever they turn out to be, they are themselves, and that's what you have to accept in the end. Who they turn out to be, is the person you have to accept. It's your duty as a parent, and it's a wonderful gift to be given."

Horatio looked slightly sheepish at the passionate speech but cleared his throat and looked like he wasn't bothered. Ryan could appreciate that there weren't many men who would have felt comfortable saying something like that in public or at all.

"My point is, you're my son, end of story."

Ryan smiled broadly, and something in his brain clicked. What Horatio had just said, it cleared up a lot about some comments Horatio had made in the past. Put in the light of this new context and the knowledge that Horatio had made a conscious decision to have a child, to have Ryan, they suddenly made a lot more sense then they had before.

"I regret that… I was taken away," Ryan said softly, "I would have loved to grow up with you, dad. I'm sure you're a great father."

Ryan watched with fascination as something of a blush seemed to creep over Horatio's cheeks at the compliment. The red-haired man looked pleased and something warm touched Ryan's heart. This was what he'd been wanting his whole life, a father.

Ryan smiled and cleared his throat, working away a lump that had formed there over the course of their conversation and decided to lighten the mood. "I came here with mom, about a week ago."

Horatio nodded. "I'm glad to hear it. She really wants to get to know you."

"I told her then, about … about having a boyfriend, I didn't tell her it was Eric though." Ryan said.

Horatio nodded. "Well, I suppose you're going to have to introduce the two of them to each other soon enough."

Ryan grinned. "I know. He's not really looking forward to it, Eric I mean. He wants to meet 'the parents', but he's nervous about it. I don't think that meeting Laura will be that bad, but he's nervous about being confronted by you as Horatio the dad instead of Horatio the boss."

Horatio laughed. "Yes, I do recall that meeting the father of someone you were in love with was always somewhat tedious." He frowned a bit. "But meeting the mother could be worse, at times."

Ryan looked at him curiously. "Like mom's parents?"

Horatio blinked and then shook his head. "Laura's parents had passed away already when I met her. They'd had a child at a later stage in their life then most people do and they'd passed away with old age by the time I met Laura. But that doesn't mean I've never met 'the parents' before, Ryan. Believe it or not, I did date a few women before I met your mother."

"And after my mother?" Ryan asked.

Horatio took a sip of his coffee. "There was some attraction between Yelina and I before she married my brother, but after that she became like a sister to me. I briefly dated a few women of and on for the years, but nothing serious. I certainly never fell in love with anyone as I fell in love with your mother. Besides, I was hesitant in settling down, not because I didn't want to, but because it never seemed right. Most women didn't feel like waiting, not that I blamed them."

"You loved mom a lot." Ryan said, softly. His eyes held Horatio's steadily. He seemed completely serious and Horatio wondered where this conversation was headed.

"I did. I married her, I decided to have a child with her. That's not a decision you make lightly, Ryan. I'd never loved anyone quite like I'd loved her…. Did she tell you how we met?"

Ryan smiled, remembering the story of the red wine and the awkward silences. "Yes, she did."

Horatio smiled ruefully. "Well then I suppose she told you how our first date wasn't much of a success."

"Not quite." Ryan laughed.

"But despite that, I asked her out after that. Because, there was something special about her, I could feel it. And I could remember what Ray had said to me: 'Big brother, I know this girl who's perfect for you. When you meet her, you'll be totally crazy about her in a heartbeat.' And he was right, we didn't do much that first date besides drinking red wine, but I was crazy about her already."

"Of course, the following morning I was afraid that it'd been the red wine, but when I saw her again, sober, nothing had changed. In fact, that feeling just got stronger the more we saw each other. I still think it's a miracle that she agreed to go out with me a second time."

Ryan gulped down half of his coffee. He wondered how they hadn't been able to stay together after he was kidnapped, because it was obvious that they'd loved each other very much. And it became increasingly obvious that maybe they still were in love with each other.

"I've never felt that way about anyone since then. Maybe that's the reason why none of my relationships worked out after Laura. I'd gotten a taste of real love and couldn't possibly settle for anything less, as selfish as that may sound." Horatio said softly.

Ryan nodded, his mind briefly conjuring an image of Eric, smiling. He took a deep breath, finished his coffee and caught Horatio's eyes. "Mom hasn't really had a relationship with anyone ever since you two broke up either. She's dated, like you, but she's not seeing anyone."

"Walters would like to see her." Horatio said, although he was unsure why he brought it up. He realized with a strange sort of detachment that he sounded petulant. He was tempted to frown at himself, there was no need to be childish over a man appreciating a woman like Laura.

Ryan leaned back in his seat, keeping eye-contact. "I know, but she's not going to be seeing him. She doesn't want to. She didn't want him to ask her out. He has and she said 'no'. If he asked her out again, she would still say 'no'. She told me so. She also told me that if you had asked her out, she probably would have said 'yes'."

Horatio sighed and cleared his throat, ready to argue over what Ryan was trying to tell him, was trying to make him do. "Ryan, Laura and I broke up for a reason… and there's too much history there…" He tried to ignore the wistfulness in his own voice.

Ryan shook his head, interrupting him. "She still loves you, I think. I don't know how much, but she still cares about you and she's definitely still interested in you. I'm thinking that you're still in love with her too. I'm just saying, that from what I've heard, there is no one else for either of you."

He got up from his seat. "Just think about it, dad." And with those words he left the café.

Horatio ordered another coffee and thought about it.

To Be Continued…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"So he really wants to change his last name back to Caine?" Laura asked, her eyes smiling at him.

Horatio took a brief moment to watch her, as she leaned against the railing of the deck. The sky behind her was streaked with purple and pink. The sun was setting behind the concrete and steel of the Miami skyline. But Horatio was facing towards the ocean, watching a few stray rays of sunlight light up Laura's hair and smile. Her light blue summers dress flapped around her knees. The breeze was cooler then usual and raised gooseflesh on her arms.

"Yes. He asked me if it was alright. I don't think he quite understands how much it means to me that he wants to change his last name. It might seem such a little thing, but the gesture is far more symbolic then it seems at first sight." Horatio said, sipping his red wine.

Laura smiled. "I'm glad. He seems… happy. When I talked to him about his boyfriend, he seemed happy." Her smile deepened. "You seem happy too."

Horatio shrugged in his seat. He was slouched in one of the plastic chairs that stood out on the deck. He was dressed casually, in a pair of jeans and a light blue t-shirt with a white pattern. He smiled at her. "I have my son back, Laura. There isn't anything else in the world that could make me happier then I am right now."

It wasn't a lie, Horatio thought, as he watched the shadows of night descending play across Laura's face.

"He's transferring to swing shift too, he wants to make sure that when he gets promoted or something, that people don't assume I'm giving him special treatment. He wants people to know that he advanced on his own merit. I can understand that."

And he could understand it, but that didn't mean he wouldn't miss working with Ryan. He hadn't worked a lot with Ryan since finding out that the younger man was his son, but watching his son work had made him proud. He would still be proud, of course, but he wouldn't be able to watch anymore and know with such clarity that Ryan was his son. And of course, he would miss such a talented CSI on his team.

The team…. He could only imagine what their reactions would be when they found out that Ryan was Horatio's son. Alexx would be surprised, but she'd be happy for them, and at the same time angry at Horatio for never telling her that he'd had a son in the first place. Calleigh would be completely stunned, but she'd accept it in the end. The bigger blow would probably be Ryan leaving the team. Horatio would have to make sure that the new guy wouldn't have such a hard time, not like Ryan had.

Stetler would probably throw a fit though, when he found out. Horatio would have to reassure him that Ryan had been hired before Horatio had known, before Ryan had known, before anyone had known actually. He just hoped that Stetler wouldn't try to get Ryan fired, but he would probably insist on an evaluation or something. Sometimes Horatio was convinced that Stetler lived to make his life difficult.

"He'll be working with Walters and his team then. They're good people." Laura said.

Horatio's fingers tightened on his glass of red wine. He consciously relaxed his grip again. He wasn't sure what expression had flashed across his face, but Laura's smile had been replaced by a worried frown.

"You don't like them? Walters and his team?"

Horatio shrugged, the move deliberately casual. "I haven't had much contact with the swing shift team."

"So, you don't like Walters?" Laura asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Horatio shrugged, deciding not to say anything. For a brief moment he felt like a child, evading the question and sulking. Laura laughed and he only felt worse. He cleared his throat. "It's not that I don't like him…. maybe I'm simply envious that soon he's getting an incredibly talented CSI."

Laura nodded, but Horatio could tell that she didn't believe him. He set his glass down on the table and stood. He went to stand next to her, resting his palms on the railing and leaning on them, gazing out towards the ocean. Their shoulders were touching and Laura didn't move away. Horatio briefly wondered if it was pathetic of him to count that as a victory.

"Maybe he just rubs me the wrong way." Horatio said.

Laura turned around so they were both looking out towards the ocean. "Maybe." She didn't say anything else.

"When Ryan moves to swing shift, we're going to tell the team. I think Ryan is a bit nervous about their reactions. It wasn't easy for him to gain their trust when he just started working at the lab. We'd lost a co-worker… his gun failed because he didn't clean it."

Horatio thought that it was probably the last thing that had made his team so upset about Speed's death. It had been his own fault, he hadn't cleaned his gun while knowing the full consequences of his actions. Speed has caused his own death. It had been a bitter pill to swallow and it had influenced their reactions towards Ryan. Horatio could admit to himself, with a guilty knot in his stomach, that he should have intervened on Ryan's behalf some more.

Of course, he wasn't sure if he thought that now because he knew that Ryan was his son. At the time he had thought that any intervention on his part would only have a negative effect on the reactions Ryan would get. Sometimes the people in the lab could behave a bit too much like gossiping teenagers then Horatio felt comfortable with. He supposed that was reason enough for Ryan to move to swing shift now, Horatio would always be second guessing his motivations or his actions towards Ryan.

He cleared his throat. "I think that made his entrance to the lab all the more difficult. I think he's afraid that everything might be dragged up again if they find out now that he's my son. I just hope that it's easier for him to become a part of the team in swing shift. And I hope that whoever comes to day shift will fit in nicely, too. In this kind of work you need to know that you can fall back on your colleagues."

"So… What's this Eric like?" Laura asked, curiously.

"He's…. a good guy." Horatio said. "I wouldn't have hired him if he wasn't. He and Ryan used to fight quite a bit. In part it was because Eric saw Ryan as a replacement for Speed. Eric hadn't dealt with Speed's death yet and was taking it out on Ryan, who was there while Speed wasn't. It was easy to shift all his anger towards Speed for not cleaning his gun to Ryan, who cleans his gun compulsively. Ryan made some mistakes too, he wasn't used to working in a team and he made some bad decisions. Not to mention that their personalities clashed on any number of occasions."

"But they managed to resolve their differences somewhat. I think the main catalyst for that was Ryan getting shot with the nailgun."

"Shot with a nailgun?" Laura asked, perplexed.

Horatio gave her a grim smile. "Yes. He was investigating a trailer at a construction site and he got shot in the eye with a nailgun. He didn't lose an eye or anything, obviously, but we were all very worried for a while, understandably so. He even had some problem with an infection in his eye afterwards, but it all cleared up. That really put some things in perspective and they managed to work some of their problems out."

"They still fought every once in a while and they still gave each other little verbal digs, but nothing like the aggression they'd gotten over. They seemed to become friends, good friends even. I have to admit, while I realized there was something there that I couldn't put my finger on, I never would have thought it was something like this. To me they seem too much alike and too different in all the things that matter."

Horatio shrugged, a wry smile on his face. "But I'm wrong, apparently."

Laura shrugged back. "I think that it doesn't really matter whether you're different or alike. I don't think you have to agree on everything to have a good relationship and I don't necessarily believe in the whole 'opposites attract'. You don't even have to be attracted to each other at first. Love can be born out of friendship as much as out of mutual physical attraction. I believe that a relationship can only work if you love each other and if you're willing to work for it. And maybe luck factors in there too somewhere…"

She glanced at him for the corner of her eyes. "Love isn't always enough."

"I know" Horatio said, quietly.

"But I'm not here to debate relationships with you." Laura answered, a smile on her face that might have been forced.

Horatio hesitated briefly and then shrugged, keeping his gaze on the darkening horizon. He could almost feel Laura's frown and her eyes boring into his temple.

"Horatio, is something wrong?"

He shook his head, whether it was meant to be a 'no' or an 'I don't know' he wasn't sure. Maybe it was a 'Ryan talked to me about our relationship and our feelings for each other and now I'm having second thoughts about certain decisions we made that I've been sure of my whole life and I have no idea what to do about that'. He wasn't sure if he could tell her that though, not in so many words.

"Come on, I know you Horatio. We might have been… estranged for years, but I do know you. I can tell something's bothering you. Does it have to do with Ryan or is it about a case?"

"I'm fine, Laura. There's nothing wrong. I just have some thinking to do."

"Is it because of Ryan being gay?" There was a hint of incredulousness in her voice and a spark of anger.

Horatio quickly shook his head. "No, it's not about Ryan being gay. It's just… he said something that's gotten me thinking. He pointed something out to me that I've either been ignorant of before or have been ignoring."

"Sounds serious." Laura commented, gently.

"I suppose it is." Horatio said, taking her hand in his.

She didn't pull away.

To Be Continued….


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ryan ran a hand through his hair and took a sip of his cup of coffee. He was sitting at the round table in the break room. Calleigh was sitting next to him, idly browsing through a magazine and sipping her own coffee. They were both waiting on the rest of the team to show up. Horatio had called them all together because he had an announcement to make. Ryan was the only one who knew that Horatio actually had two announcements to make. He swallowed nervously at the thought and quickly took another sip of his coffee.

He was still worried about their reactions. He was worried that maybe old hurts that had been buried would be brought up again. He was afraid that they'd be angry with him for changing shifts. He didn't want to loose their friendship, he didn't want to loose his ties with him even if he wasn't on day shift anymore.

"Do you have any idea what Horatio's going to tell us?" Calleigh asked casually as she turned a page of her magazine. Her hair was gathered in a neat and shiny ponytail. Her make up was immaculate as always and she was wearing black slacks along with a white spaghetti strap top. She looked beautiful and professional and intimidating all at the same time. Ryan could tell that she was dying of curiosity.

He allowed himself to grin and buried his nerves and worries away. Calleigh was his friend, maybe he should trust her. "I might have."

Calleigh looked up at the teasing note in his voice and gave him a coy smile. "Oh really? Care to tell?"

He smiled back. "No can do."

She pouted. "That's just mean."

He chuckled and was about to say something light and teasing when Eric entered the break room. Eric of course, also knew that there were two announcements to be made and what they were. He smiled and approached his colleagues, flopping down into a chair next to Ryan. His posture was casual and relaxed. Underneath the table, one hand casually landed on Ryan's thigh and Ryan's breathing hitched briefly. Calleigh didn't seem to notice, but Ryan couldn't be sure.

"What are you guys talking about?" Eric asked, also deceptively casual.

Eric's hand on Ryan's thigh tightened a bit, as if in an invisible gesture of possessiveness. Ryan became aware that Eric might have heard his playful banter with Calleigh, he supposed it could also be interpreted as casual flirting. He smiled to himself and wondered if he should drop his hands underneath the table to take Eric's hand in his or to place it on Eric's knee, but decided he probably wouldn't be able to pull it off.

Calleigh would see right through him, somehow.

Eric's hand slowly travelled up his thigh and Ryan swallowed heavily. Calleigh definitely noticed that. Her gaze sharpened a little bit and then a soft smile crossed her face as her eyes flickered to Eric and then back to Ryan. There was something speculating in her gaze now. She smiled. "I was just wondering about Horatio's big announcement. Ryan here apparently already knows. I've been trying to get him to tell me, but he won't budge."

Eric grinned. "Well, maybe Ryan isn't the only one who knows."

"Well I hardly think that's fair." Calleigh said.

Alexx came in before either Ryan or Eric could say anything in response. Horatio was with her and he had a smile on his face. Ryan couldn't really help it, he was smiling too now. Maybe everything would work out alright. Alexx and Calleigh were his friends, they cared about him. They'd probably be happy for them that they'd found each other. And Calleigh definitely wouldn't turn her back on him and Eric because they were gay. Ryan didn't think that Alexx would either, she was a good person.

Alexx took a seat next to Calleigh and Horatio went to stand at the head of the table, taking a position where it would be easy to talk to all of them. He easily and confidently took the leadership position, he always had. His eyes briefly met Ryan's.

"Well, like I said… I have an important announcement to make, two actually and both of them are very much linked. The first one is that I'm afraid that Ryan will be leaving us soon."

His eyes strayed back to Ryan's, there was something of a smirk in there, and both Calleigh and Alexx looked at him, surprised looks on their faces. Only Eric didn't turn to look at him, but his hand stayed high on Ryan's thigh while he kept his face turned to Horatio.

Ryan didn't know if Eric drew some secret pleasure at touching Ryan in indecent places while Ryan's father was present or not. But Ryan would have expected him to drop his hand away as soon as Horatio stepped into the room, considering that Eric seemed to be convinced that Horatio knew and saw everything.

"Ryan? What do you mean you're leaving?" Calleigh sounded a little upset and Alexx had crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Ryan cleared his throat and nobly stamped down on the urge to glare at Horatio for the man's wording. He was sure that Horatio could have chosen his words better. "I'm not leaving exactly. I'm transferring to swing shift. And before either you say anything, I have good reasons!" He desperately defended himself.

Horatio cleared his throat and gave Calleigh and Alexx a look. "Ryan does have good reasons. Several, in fact. Eric, maybe you should share the first reason?" Horatio raised an eyebrow, the left to be precise, and he seemed to be smirking behind his eyes again.

Eric could feel the blush spreading over his cheeks and next to him Ryan squirmed in his seat. Eric quickly relaxed his grip on Ryan's thigh, hoping that Horatio didn't know about that. He cleared his throat when both Alexx and Calleigh turned curious eyes on him. He glanced sideways at Ryan who was blushing beat red. Eric coughed.

Eric decided he didn't like Horatio's sense of humour.

"Well, it has to do with the new IAB regulations." Eric said slowly, trying to figure out how to best put his and Ryan's new relationship into words. However, it seemed that it wasn't necessary.

Alexx was smirking now and she leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Calleigh's eyes had widened and her mouth had opened in a small 'o'. Then she giggled. "The two of you? Really?" Her tone sounded curious and there was a hint of a leer in the curve of her mouth.

Eric could feel himself turning as red as a lobster while next to him Ryan made a strangled noise. He glanced at Horatio, whose face was schooled into a solemn expression, but Eric could tell that the red-haired lieutenant was extremely amused.

"Yes, Ryan and I." Eric said. And he released Ryan's thigh entirely, lifting his hand and curling his fingers around Ryan's on top of the table. He raised his chin defiantly, scraping together the last shreds of his dignity.

Alexx smiled broadly. "Well it was about time."

"Alexx!" Ryan said, partly surprised and partly embarrassed.

The older woman shrugged, a smile on her face. "Ryan, baby, I've been watching you and Eric dance around each other long enough."

Calleigh leaned forward, her curiosity and eagerness evidence in her gleeful smile. She was positively glowing. "So it must be pretty serious then. If you're willing to switch to swing shift, Ryan."

Ryan fidgeted in his seat and took a glance at Eric, who was smiling. Ryan smiled. "Yeah, I guess it is pretty serious."

Alexx' smile broadened.

"Although, it's not the only reason I'm transferring. I mean, Eric has a lot to do with it, but… Eric offered to be the one to change shifts, but… I have more reasons, other reasons, to transfer."

Calleigh looked curious again, but Alexx merely frowned and then her gaze shifted back to Horatio. Ryan could almost see the gears in her head turning and he realized that she was trying to make a connection between him and Horatio. If Alexx wasn't a coroner, she would have been one hell of a CSI, he realized.

Ryan could feel his heart trying to beat its way out of his ribcage. He was almost entirely convinced that the whole room could hear it. He faintly wondered if it was possible to get a heart attack from sheer nervousness. The news that Eric and Ryan were in a relationship, obviously hadn't freaked them out. They were happy about it.

But Ryan had no idea what to say now. He didn't even know how he was going to explain it. Maybe he and Horatio should have talked about this before they went ahead with it, instead of just saying "We'll have to tell them on Wednesday. I'm on the roster for Swing Shift on Thursday."

Of course… that didn't mean that they had to tell the team about Horatio being Ryan's father yet…. Except that Ryan was on the roster as Ryan Caine and not as Ryan Wolfe. He'd get a new lab coat, a new label for his locker, a new ID card. Horatio had put some pressure at the right channels to have the paperwork come through at double time.

Ryan's file had been altered, his medical records had been checked. His social security number had been changed back to the one he'd had before Rachel had kidnapped him, he'd had to get some things right with his insurance. He'd needed to change his birthday on some internet accounts. Apparently, he was a few months younger then he'd always thought. He'd have to get used to that.

But the truth was, that Ryan would be a Caine officially, in two days time. Horatio, Laura and Ryan had wanted to celebrate that on the weekend. They were going to have dinner together. Eric was coming with him. Ryan was nervous about that too.

"What other reasons?" Calleigh asked.

Ryan cleared his throat and glanced at Horatio, almost desperate for the other man to take over. Horatio caught his gaze and then smiled. Ryan still wasn't used to seeing that smile, the way it was slightly proud and slightly curious and a whole lot of other things that Ryan couldn't put a name to. It made Ryan want to smile back, so he did.

The smile made him feel oddly reassured and he turned back to his colleagues. He wasn't ashamed to be a Caine, not at all.

"Well, I found out something very important after my mother died. My DNA didn't match hers at all. I checked some records, ran my DNA through the database. She kidnapped me away from my real parents when I was very young. Her husband and her real son, who had the same first name as me, had been killed during a mugging. It sounds like a bad soap opera, doesn't it?"

Ryan asked Calleigh and Alexx' shocked faces.

"But it's all true. It took me a while to come to terms with it, even longer to come to terms with who my real parents are…" Ryan's mind flashed back to those days in Boston, the rain clattering against the windows as he put Rachel's things while his mind kept working, churning.

"Oh Ryan…" Calleigh said, her eyes were sad.

Alexx looked sad too, compassion for Ryan in her eyes. But then she looked back at Horatio and the realization was so obvious that Ryan nearly expected a cartoon light bulb to light up over her head.

"Horatio, is he telling us what I think he's telling us?" She asked him.

Horatio sat down in a chair, up until this point, he'd been standing. He nodded at Alexx. Calleigh looked at Alexx, then at Horatio and then at Ryan. "Telling us what?"

Horatio cleared his throat.

"I wasn't always a single man. About twenty-three years ago I was married to a woman named Laura Haigh and we had a son together. He was kidnapped as a child, eventually it broke up our marriage."

Calleigh stared at him and then at Ryan and then back again. She made a strange sound and then her expression turned excruciatingly solemn. "Oh my lord…."

Ryan swallowed even though his throat was completely dry. He realized that at some point during the conversation he'd tangled his fingers with Eric's and he was squeezing them really hard. Eric didn't seem to mind though, he was squeezing back. Ryan took a deep breath, gave Horatio a brief glance and then turned back to Calleigh.

"I'm not really Ryan Wolfe, I mean… I'm the Ryan that you've always known, the Ryan that I've always been. But apparently…I'm also Ryan Caine."

Ryan was rather proud of himself that he didn't stumble over the name.

Calleigh was staring at him. "This is why you're changing shifts?" Her voice was oddly devoid of emotion.

Ryan nodded. "Yes, I don't want people to think that I got my job because I'm H's son. We didn't even know I was his son back then. And if something happens and I need my boss to stick up for me, I don't want people saying that H is sticking up for me because he's my father. I want to be my own man and for that to be true, I need to leave."

Calleigh slowly nodded and then slowly, she smiled. She turned her head to look at Horatio and smiled too. "Well, I certainly never expected this." Her standard perky-ness was back in her voice and her curiosity was glowing in her eyes.

Even if a curious Calleigh was kind of a scary Calleigh, Ryan was still relieved.

"You said it sugar." Alexx said. "The odds of something like this happening…."

"Is slim to none." Horatio finished for her. His eyes were looking at Ryan and there was a smile on his face. Ryan could label the smile as 'fatherly' if he thought about it. The thought made him smile.

He looked back to Eric, who was smiling too and then he looked back to Calleigh who was grinning wide. Alexx had that motherly smile on her face, the one that seemed halfway past content and a quarter shy of smug. Ryan liked that smile on her. He looked back to Horatio, who was smiling too and Ryan could feel something heavy shift of his shoulders.

Everything would be alright.

To Be Continued…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Calleigh sighed as she arranged the evidence to her liking on the table. She looked sideways, through the glass walls and into the trace lab, where Ryan was working. Soon, that familiar sight would be gone. Ryan was transferring to swing shift. She could understand his reasoning and she knew that it probably was the best thing to do. But that didn't mean she wasn't sad that Ryan was leaving. None of them had accepted him from the beginning or had treated him as he should have been treated. But he had become one of the team, he was one of them and it was a sad thing that he was leaving.

It was an understatement to say that Calleigh had been surprised at the news that Ryan was Horatio's son. She'd been blown away completely, she'd never even had an inkling of something like that, until all the pieces had suddenly fit together in the break room. It was amazingly strange, Calleigh thought. Part of her mind hadn't fully wrapped around it yet, as if it was impossible to believe. She thought that the full realization of what that meant would hit her later, much later, probably when she was home alone.

The door to the lab opened and Natalia walked in. She was dressed in cream pants and a lavender top, covered by her labcoat. Her hair was gathered together in a shiny brown-haired ponytail with highlights. And her smile was blinding. She seemed perky and happy and Calleigh had to smile.

"Why, it seems that someone's court appearance went well." Calleigh said teasingly.

Natalia grinned. "I'm confident that we're going to get a conviction for this one. So, what did I miss in the team meeting?"

Calleigh's smile widened. "Oh you will not believe it. I was quite surprised, a couple of times actually."

Natalia grinned. "Oh really? Well, this ought to be good, not a lot can surprise you. Usually you know everything."

"Oh, not this time." Calleigh said with a grin. "I think this is actually one of the first times that the gossip mill in the lab didn't know anything about it."

"Really?" Natalia asked, setting her palms on the table, fingers splayed out away from each other and leaning forward curiously.

Calleigh leaned forward and smiled. "Ryan is leaving the team, unfortunately, he's switching to swing shift."

Natalia's mouth dropped open and she stared at Calleigh. "What? You mean, he's leaving voluntarily, because he wants to? He's not being…transferred by Horatio or IAB or something?"

Calleigh shook her head. "No, he requested a transfer."

"Wow, I certainly never expected anything like that." Natalia said, surprise written across her face. "I thought that if Ryan ever left the team, he'd have gotten fired or something… or forced into early retirement…or not able to work anymore because of a physical injury he got on the job or something."

Calleigh nodded. "I know… but he explained his reasons to us and those are the most surprising of all." She clapped her hands together with glee. "I don't know which reason to tell you first!"

Natalia grinned. "Well, come on…. You're getting me all curious."

"Well, you are aware that IAB installed a new set of rules a couple of weeks ago, a new policy about co-workers getting involved." Calleigh said, waggling her eyebrows.

"Are you telling me that Ryan is in a relationship with someone from day shift in the lab and that it's serious enough for Ryan to leave?" Natalia asked.

Calleigh nodded, resisting the urge to clap her hands again in excitement. There was nothing better like some good gossip to lighten your day, and gossip like Eric and Ryan's relationship was a once in a life time event. Of course, Calleigh would never spread any mean gossip around or things that she knew were private. But Ryan and Eric were prepared to 'come out' as a gay couple.

Natalia frowned and bit her lip. "But who? I certainly haven't noticed anything new between Ryan and anyone."

"I know." Calleigh said. "That's why it was such a surprise, there hadn't been any kind of rumours about who Ryan is seeing. And with this certain person it would have been all over the lab in minutes if anyone had had the slightest inkling."

"Well come on! Stop building the suspense like that! Who is it?"

Calleigh smiled brightly. "Eric!"

"Where?" Natalia asked, looking around the lab.

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "No! I mean, Eric is the one Ryan is seeing."

"What?" Calleigh nearly winced at Natalia's high pitch. "Ryan's gay? Eric's gay? Calleigh, that's not possible, I dated them both remember?"

Calleigh shrugged. "Well maybe they're bisexual. I know for certain Eric is, he's never been afraid of admitting that. Although I wouldn't have counted on Ryan being gay, he just didn't seem like the type, you know? But then again… maybe he's just Eric-sexual." She giggled.

Natalia took a few seconds to compose herself. "This is…so weird. Even if I had known that Ryan was gay or bisexual or whatever… I never would have matched him up with Eric. They seemed to hate it each other, they were always in each other's face, ready to throttle each other."

"Unresolved sexual tension." Calleigh nodded gravely, but with a playful twinkling in her eyes.

Natalia giggled. "Oh my God… This is so incredible news. This gossip is going to last for weeks."

Calleigh laughed. "And that's not even the most surprising reason."

"It's not? It gets better?"

"Oh it sure does." Calleigh said, taking a minute to adopt a more serious expression. "I don't know how to tell you… other then just to come out and say it."

"Well say it!" Natalia urged.

"Well… Ryan is leaving day shift because Horatio is his biological father." Calleigh said, not being able to think of any other way to word it.

Natalia stared at Calleigh for a minute, not saying a word and Calleigh could understand. The words seemed almost impossible, but they were true. It was shocking news, far more shocking then to hear about the relationship between Eric and Ryan.

"So that's how he got the job." Natalia said.

Calleigh frowned. "Excuse me?"

Natalia shrugged. "Well, you can't say that Ryan was really qualified to become a CSI."

Calleigh stared at her friend and teammate for a minute, unable to decide if she should be shocked or angry at the words that were coming out of Natalia's mouth. For the moment she decided to settle somewhere in the middle of those two. "Ryan had the necessary degrees, he'd gone on all the seminars, he'd even gone on tours and special training weekends. He was fully qualified and he managed to impress all of us at a crime scene. Ryan was more then qualified."

Natalia shook her head. "He was rooky."

"We're all rookies at one point, Natalia. So were you." Calleigh pointed out.

"If he was really so qualified then how come he made those classic rooky mistakes? How come it took so long for him to gain any sort of respect or reputation in the lab?" Natalia countered.

Calleigh flushed, suddenly painfully aware of her own part in that situation. "Ryan entered the lab at a very difficult time for all of us. We were hesitant to accept anyone who we thought was replacing Speed. We didn't take the time to each Ryan the things he couldn't have known but should know and we didn't take the time to get to know him. We're all very sorry for that now, but despite all of that Ryan has become a good CSI."

Natalia snorted. "Right and that's why Horatio has to keep him out of trouble all the time. I bet that's the only reason Horatio covers for Ryan so much. Ryan gets special treatment because he's Horatio's son."

Calleigh raised an eyebrow. "And what are you? Horatio's daughter?"

Natalia glared.

"Oh don't give me that look, you've been given as much special treatment as Ryan has and you know it. He would have had every right to fire you after we all found out that you were a spy for the feds. But instead you became a CSI. Strange how things like that turn out without anyone getting special treatment. And not to mention all the times he's stood up for you ever since you became part of the team. It's what Horatio does, he covers for us and he protects us if we manage to screw up. And he does it for all of us."

Calleigh was on a roll

"And by the way, the fact that Ryan is Horatio's son didn't have anything to do with Ryan getting hired or with Horatio covering for Ryan. Because guess what? Ryan didn't even know that he was Horatio's son and Horatio didn't even know that he was Ryan's father until about two months ago. Ryan was kidnapped when he was child and Horatio thought that his son was dead. It was only when Rachel Wolfe, Ryan's supposed mother and his kidnapper died on that plane crash that Ryan figured it out through blood samples."

Calleigh gathered some papers, glared at Natalia and delivered her parting shot.

"It's because of people like you that Ryan felt he needed to transfer to swing shift."

To Be Continued…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ryan stared at the new name tag on his locker.

Ryan Caine.

The letters looked strange and foreign to him. He raised a hand and traced the simple black letters on the white piece of carton. Life was strange, Ryan decided, especially his. He opened his locker and pulled out his gun and his badge, clipping them unto his belt. He was just riffling through some of his stuff when the door to the locker room opened.

"Hey."

Ryan turned around and smiled at Eric, who was heading towards his own locker, not too far from Ryan.

"Hey." Ryan said. "How was your shift?"

Eric smiled. "It was good, I'm exhausted though. I had to go diving into three different marinas today to look for a gun, only to find the gun stashed underneath the bed in our suspect's home."

Ryan grimaced. "That's rough man, you have my sympathies."

Eric laughed, closed his locker and walked towards Ryan. "And how are you doing? Nervous about your first shift on swing shift?"

Ryan shrugged. "Not more nervous then my first day in day shift."

Eric raised an eyebrow, questioningly and a smirk threatened to break out over his face. Ryan grimaced and looked at the ground, an embarrassed flush was creeping over his cheeks. He cleared his throat and turned back to his locker, messing around in it and pretending that he was looking for something.

Eric grinned. "I guess that would be pretty nervous then." He teased.

Ryan emerged from his locker and closed the door, glaring at Eric. "I wasn't nervous and I'm not nervous now." He straightened out a few wrinkles in his shirt.

Eric rolled his eyes and rested his hands on Ryan's shoulders. "You're going to be great. They're going to love you. Though not too much or I'll have to play the menacing boyfriend and warn them to back of."

Ryan laughed and shook his head and Eric could feel the tense muscles underneath Ryan's shirt relaxing slightly.

"Don't worry Ryan, you'll be fine. You've met with Walters before, right?"

Ryan shrugged. "That was only a half an hour interview because he wanted to be sure I was qualified. And I haven't really talked to any of my co-workers yet. I mean, I've run into them at the lab of course. You know, I'm going out, they're coming in, stuff like that. But no real conversations."

Eric nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Ryan grinned and closed his locker. "But you're right, I'll be fine. How was the guy replacing me?"

Eric shrugged. "His name is Mitchell Manning. He was alright. He seems like a good guy. We didn't talk for very long though. Horatio put him on a case with Calleigh to see how he's doing. But from what Calleigh said he's a competent CSI and he'll be fitting right in. Apparently, Valera was flirting with him from the moment she met him. The guy's married though."

Ryan smiled. "Good. The easier the transition goes the better, for all of us."

Eric nodded in agreement. "I suppose you're right. But…I missed you." There was a blush on the Cuban's cheek. "I mean, it was strange not having you there to bounce ideas of. It's a bit strange too to realize that you won't be coming back. It's not… sick leave or anything."

Ryan nodded. "I know, but this is for the best."

"I know."

"Well, I should get going, I don't want to be late or anything. There's a team meeting in the break room and I really need to be there."

"Right." Eric said and quickly pecked Ryan on the mouth. "Call me after your shift is done?"

Ryan smiled. "I'll call you."

He left the locker room and made his way to the break room. He walked past Natalia in the hallway and she gave him a thin-lipped smile. Rumours said that Natalia and Calleigh had gotten into an argument in the lab when Natalia had accused Ryan of getting his job only because he was Horatio's son. Ryan didn't always put much stock in rumours, but when he'd talked to Calleigh about it, she hadn't denied or confirmed it. Combined with the fact that Natalia had been acting rather coolly towards him lately, Ryan was compelled to believe the rumours.

Ryan tried to not let it get to him, but it was difficult. He knew that there would be people who'd think he'd been favoured and protected just because of whose son he was. But at the same time he'd hoped, thought, that the people who'd known him, who he'd considered to be his friends would believe in him. And while he and Natalia had had a rocky start, they'd become friends. He wondered just how easy it was to believe that Ryan had only gotten his job because of who his father was.

He opened the door to the break room and was immediately approached by a brown-haired woman with blue eyes and a wide grin. "Hey! You must be Ryan Wol… I mean, Ryan Caine. Nice to meet you."

She held out her hand and Ryan shook it, dimly wondering if everyone had heard about him and Horatio by now. They probably had, he reflected, rumours like that had a tendency to spread quickly.

"I'm Amanda Hunting." Her grin widened, if that was possible.

"Hey, I'm… Ryan." He felt incredibly stupid saying it, because she knew who he was.

She laughed, but it wasn't a mocking laugh. "Yeah, I know. Come on, meet the others."

She grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the other two people sitting at the table, cups of coffee in front of them.

In the following half an hour Ryan was officially introduced to Mara Crown and Kevin Daily. They were the members of the swing shift team and seemed to have no problem welcoming Ryan into their fold. Mara was a young woman, who'd only joined the team recently herself and was a newby in law-enforcement. Kevin was a more experienced CSI who'd worked at the lab for quite a long time. He'd been up for promotion but turned it down, causing Walters to become head of swing shift.

"It's nice to meet you Ryan. Mitchell had been talking about trying to get a transfer into day shift for a while now. He's starting a family you know and his wife wants him to work more normal hours so he can help out with the kids and stuff." Kevin confided, his large hand wrapped around his coffee mug.

Ryan smiled in response. "Sounds sensible."

Amanda laughed, she did that a lot Ryan noticed. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it? He was quite eager to take the day shift position as soon as Walters said that you were looking for a place in swing shift."

Mara nodded and turned to Ryan. "So why did you decide to come to swing shift? I mean, a lot of people favour day shift over swing shift."

Ryan shrugged. "It was a solution to a problem. I mean, I had to leave day shift. So I could choose between changing labs, or shifts. I didn't want to leave the lab so I chose swing shift above graveyard."

Mara nodded. "So are the rumours true then?"

"Mara!" Amanda admonished, but Ryan could tell that she didn't mean it. The grin on her face gave her away.

Ryan shrugged. "Depends on what you heard. But yes, I switched to swing shift because I recently found out who my father was and because I'm seeing someone on day shift."

Amanda pouted. "And that's all we're getting from you, isn't it?"

Kevin sighed. "Cut the guy a break, will you? I doubt day shift put Mitchell on the spot like this."

Amanda laughed.

The door opened and Walters stepped inside. He looked at the scene in front of him for a minute before waving the white paper slips he was holding in his hands. "Good, you all have met already. That makes things easier. If everything works out Ryan Caine here will become a permanent fixture on swing shift. And so far I have no reason to believe that he isn't here to stay."

"Alright, Daily, I want you on a robber's case in the Keys. Hunting, I want you to work on a double homicide. Crown, you go with Hunting and keep an eye out for dispatch, I want you to take an easier case you can handle solo when you're done. Caine, I trust that you know what you're doing, I want you to check out a suspected arson along with a probable murder, there was a body found after the fire was put out. I'll go with you on that one. Alright everyone, hop to it."

Amanda sighed, looked over the paper and took off, Mara trailing behind her. Kevin finished his cup of coffee before calmly making his way to the door. As he passed Ryan, he clapped the younger man heartily on the back. "Welcome to swing shift."

To Be Continued….


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Eric was nervous. He was nervous in a way he hadn't been in a long time. Actually, he couldn't ever remember a time when he was this nervous. He smoothed out a few wrinkles in his shirt and took another look in the mirror before leaving the bathroom and making his way downstairs. Ryan was watching the news, already dressed and ready to go. Eric sighed and made his way to his boyfriend.

"Hey, I'm ready."

Ryan turned to look at him and racked his eyes over Eric's appreciatively. Eric was dressed in black slacks and a deep red dress shirt. The top buttons were undone, allowing Ryan a tantalizing glimpse of Eric's chest. He wanted to reach out and taste that smooth skin but Ryan resisted and merely kissed Eric's mouth.

"Come on, time to go."

To say that Eric had doubts about the family dinner Ryan was dragging him to, was an understatement. He didn't have doubts about meeting Ryan's parents. He did have doubts about being introduced as Ryan's boyfriend. It gave him a whole other position and while he thought that Ryan had been silly to believe that Eric would stop loving him because Horatio was his father, Eric couldn't refute the fact that the thought of Horatio as the father of his boyfriend was a scary thought. He just hoped that Horatio wouldn't be too overprotective or too scary.

They got into Ryan's car together, Ryan at the wheel. Eric looked out the window and watched the scenery go by. He wondered what Ryan's mother would be like. Ryan hadn't talked about her much, he preferred to not talk about the difficult situation and just relax when he was around Eric. So he wasn't entirely sure what she was like. The only thing he knew for sure was that she didn't mind Ryan being gay, as long as he was happy.

But what if he didn't pass? What if both Horatio and Laura thought that he wouldn't be able to make Ryan, truly happy? And Horatio, he knew about some of Eric's earlier exploits. He knew what kind of person Eric had been with his partners, moving on after a week, a month at the longest. He and Ryan had been together for about three weeks now. He wondered if Horatio would say anything about it.

Horatio the boss would never mention it, but how different was Horatio the boss from Horatio the dad? Eric had no idea, and he was a little afraid to find out. And if he was completely honest with himself, he'd be able to admit that he was actually a lot afraid. He'd seen Horatio in action against thieves, murderers and all kinds of other scum. What if Horatio decided to give Eric the same heat for hooking up with his son? People got strange when it came to their kids and Horatio hadn't been confronted with any of Ryan's previous boyfriends.

The first boyfriend was always the most difficult, he remembered his father telling him. Eric's father had had some difficulties with his daughter's boyfriends too. Of course, Eric's sisters had probably had a lot more boyfriends then the ones they'd brought home. But the ones that had made it to home, Eric's father had interrogated ruthlessly. Eric only hoped that Horatio wouldn't be the same, some of those boyfriends had never called again after that first meeting.

Not that Eric would dump Ryan over a bad meeting with Horatio. But still… Eric didn't want to end up being too afraid to go to another family dinner.

They parked the car in front of Horatio's house. The street lights illuminated the front of the house. Ryan turned of the car and the lights of the car. Ryan reached for Eric's hand and squeezed.

"I'm nervous."

Somehow, that quiet confession filled Eric with a warm glow and some of his nerves seemed to fade. He squeezed Ryan's hand back and smiled at his lover.

"I'm nervous too."

They let go of each other and got out of the car. After making sure that the doors were locked, they approached the front door. The nerves that had abated in their quiet moment in the car returned full force as Ryan rung the doorbell. Eric reached for Ryan's hand and Ryan tangled their fingers together, giving Eric an affectionate squeeze.

The door opened and Horatio stood in the doorway, his blue eyes flickered briefly to their entangled hands and then smiled, stepping aside to let them enter.

"Hey Ryan, Eric. Come on in."

"Hey dad."

"Hey Horatio."

Eric stepped inside and allowed Ryan to pull him further into the living room. Ryan, after all, already knew his way around this house. Horatio followed them and Eric forced himself to not look over his shoulder like some paranoid perp. The hallway led into the living room, where a brown-haired woman was sitting, Eric could vaguely remember her face from the lab.

When she noticed them, she stood and smiled. She was a lovely woman, Eric thought. She was dressed in a pair of cream coloured slacks and a black spaghetti strap top with a modest, clean cut neckline. Her hair was gathered together in a bun and she had flat, white sandals on her feet. And oddly enough, Eric could see a bit of Ryan in her face.

"You guys want something to drink? We have red and white wine." Horatio said, already moving towards the kitchen.

"Red wine's fine, what about you, Eric?" Ryan asked.

"Eum," Eric hesitated, "yes, red wine's fine."

Ryan grinned at him and Eric tried to relax a bit more. He turned back to Laura, who was looking at him curiously.

"You must be Eric. I'm Laura, Ryan's mom." And she shook his hand.

From the way her voice raised slightly on the last two words, Eric figured that she was getting a thrill at saying them. Eric could understand that as he thought of all the years she must have thought her son was dead.

"Yes, I'm Eric. It's nice to meet you." Eric said, smiling.

Laura's hand released his and she passed Eric to kiss Ryan on the cheek. "Hey Ryan."

Ryan hugged her to him briefly. "Hey mom."

Eric couldn't help but smile. He knew first hand how difficult it had been for Ryan to move on from what Rachel had done to him. He had been there when Ryan had been freaking out about his feelings for his real mother and his 'fake' mother. It was… touching to see Ryan and Laura together, in a way that Eric couldn't have predicted before actually seeing it. Ryan looked like her.

Horatio came back out with the four wine glasses and passed them out. They settled into conversation, small talk, mostly about work and the weather. Eric was feeling nervous and wasn't talking much, allowing Ryan, Horatio and Laura to do the talking. Taking in the fact that Ryan obviously didn't know what to talk about, that Laura seemed to prefer the silent approach and Horatio wasn't the kind of man who talked simply to hear the sound of his own voice, there wasn't a lot of talking going on. And yet, it wasn't as awkward as Eric had thought it would be.

They moved on to dinner, apparently Laura had made lasagne, the vegetarian kind, and Eric had to admit that it was quite good. The amount of conversation wilted a little bit while they were busy eating and it felt more comfortable, certainly more natural then it had before. He caught Laura watching him a couple of times, a thoughtful look on her face, but she didn't say anything.

When dinner was over, Horatio asked if anyone wanted coffee. After everyone agreed, Horatio smiled like a shark.

"Eric, why don't you help me with the cups?"

Eric nodded, stood and suppressed the panic that wanted to crawl out of his belly. Daddy H was scary, there was no way around it. Ryan tried to give him an encouraging smile, but it fell oddly flat. Laura seemed amused, her lips were pressed together in the semblance of a smile. Eric refrained from mentioning what he was sure they were all thinking, Horatio hadn't needed any help with the four wine glasses.

They entered the kitchen and Horatio busied himself with filling up the coffeemaker with water and adding the right amount of crushed coffee beans. Eric idly noticed that the brand was expensive and then looked around the kitchen. It was a modern kitchen, with modern appliances and smooth chrome surfaces. It reminded Eric a bit of his mother's kitchen back at home, after she'd gotten it redone.

"So, Eric…"

Horatio's voice made Eric jump.

"Yeah, H?"

Horatio turned around and leaned against the counter as he waited for the coffee maker to do its thing.

"I hadn't realized that you were interested in Ryan like that." Horatio said and his smile was unnerving.

Eric didn't know what to do, shrug or nod, so he did a weird combination of both that almost made him loose his balance. Horatio didn't stop smiling.

"Well, eum, I usually don't hang out billboard signs if I'm attracted to a co-worker. Not that I have been attracted to a co-worker until Ryan. Except for Natalia, obviously. Not that I'm still attracted to Natalia, I just…." Eric decided it might be better if he just stopped talking all together, and closed his mouth.

Horatio lessened the intensity of his smile and Eric could almost breathe. "I know."

And there was so much meaning in those two words, wasn't there? Horatio knew everything! Eric shrugged in response, not knowing what else to do. He decided to try and open his mouth again, hoping that something decent and not hugely embarrassing popped out.

"I just… I like, I love Ryan. And, it took me a while to realize that. It also took me a while to get over myself and stop being such a … such an idiot." Eric said, thinking that maybe he could get something right after all.

Horatio nodded. "Yes, though you're not the only one who was being an idiot. I just, don't want Ryan to get hurt. If you do hurt him, I'm going to hunt you down and hurt you."

It was a testimony to how self-confident and calm Horatio was that he could say something like that while being totally serious and to make it not sound schmaltzy.

"If I ever hurt Ryan, I'll let you catch me." Eric said, and winced. Horatio looked highly amused at Eric's inability to sound suave. It seemed to Eric that it was only Caine men who had that effect on him, making him sound stupid. Although, both of them did it in completely different ways. Ryan stunned him into being mush without any brain capacity, Horatio just terrified him into being a moron.

Horatio nodded. "I suppose that's settled then."

The coffee machine made a strange gurgling noise behind Horatio's back and Horatio turned to fiddle with it.

"Will you grab some cups from that cabinet over there." Horatio pointed to the left.

Eric busied himself with collecting the cups and the saucers and setting them on the tray on the counter. Horatio poured the coffee and placed a small bottle of milk and a saucer with sugars on the tray. Before he took the tray, he clapped Eric on the shoulder and smiled. Eric decided that he liked this smile a hell of a lot more then the other one. It made Horatio seem like a well meaning uncle who smiled at his favourite nephew. It was very different from the smile that Horatio had been giving Eric earlier.

"You're a good guy, Eric." Horatio said.

Eric smiled broadly.

To Be Continued…


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Laura watched from the window as Eric was waiting near the car for Ryan. She could hear Horatio and Ryan talking to each other in the hallway, the sound of their voices carrying far even if their words didn't. Finally, after about ten minutes Ryan joined his lover at the car and they drove off together. Laura listened as Horatio closed the front door and she released the curtain, allowing it to fall back into place. She stepped back from the window and sat down on one of the couches, emptying her glass of red wine.

Horatio came back into the living room and took a seat opposite from her, picking up his own glass.

"What were you and Ryan talking about?" Laura asked, curious.

Horatio shrugged. "Work mostly. I asked him about the swing shift team. He said they seemed like nice people. It isn't the same like our team of course, but it'll be alright and Ryan will enjoy it eventually, he just needs time to adjust."

Laura raised an eyebrow at him. "You seem almost disappointed."

"Disappointed? Why would I be disappointed?"

"You tell me."

Horatio frowned at her, obviously irritated.

"I'm glad that Ryan is getting along with the swing shift team. He had a hard time fitting in with our team. I want Ryan to be happy and to do a job he likes doing with people he likes. Why would I be disappointed?"

Laura shrugged. "Well, it's understandable that a small part of you would want Ryan to miss working on your team I suppose."

Horatio shrugged, trying to ease the tension he could feel building up between his shoulder blades. The conversation was putting him on edge, her words striking closer to the truth then he'd care to admit. He knew he was probably being childish about the whole matter, but Ryan had been an important part of the team and he'd hated losing him. Even though it was the perfect solution for their problems.

He sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I do miss him on the team, I'm sure we all do. But it was the right decision and I have to respect that."

"That doesn't mean you have to like it." Laura said softly.

"There are a lot of things I don't like." Horatio said gruffly, standing and collecting the empty wine glasses to take them to the kitchen.

Laura watched him go with a frown on her face. Finally, when he didn't come back, she stood and followed him. "Are you alright?"

Horatio turned away from the sink and sighed. "Do you want to have dinner with me?"

"What?"

Horatio sighed again and looked out the window, conveniently not looking her in the eyes. "A couple of days ago, Ryan and I had coffee in this café near the crime lab. He told me something that made me re-think some things."

Laura crossed her arms in front of her chest." Some things? Like what? Our marriage?"

Horatio looked away from the window and back to her. "Yes, or more precisely, our divorce. I know that there were reasons we split up and I know that for a long time we never looked back. Our getting divorced was a decision that I've never questioned, up until now."

"Because of something Ryan said?" Laura asked. "We can't just try again, simply because Ryan is back into our lives. It's not that simple."

"I know it's not that simple." Horatio said. "But I still want to take you out to dinner."

Neither of them said anything for a while and then, Laura smiled. "We just had dinner."

"That's not funny Laura."

She just laughed and stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Take me to a movie and we'll see."

To Be Continued.

St: this is extremely short, I know. But blame it on writer's block.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Horatio knocked on the door of the apartment, feeling out of his depth for the first time in many years. It was different from the nervousness he'd felt when he'd first talked to Ryan as his son. It was different from the time he'd gone to Laura's apartment to tell her that he'd found their son after all those years. This was the sort of 'out of depth'-feeling that Horatio hadn't ever really felt before and he doubted that many people ever did in their life.

After a minute or two the door opened and Horatio smiled politely. "Hello. You must be Ron Sanderson."

They shook hands and Ron smiled. "You must be Horatio Caine."

Horatio nodded and stepped inside when Ron motioned for him to come in to the flat. "Thanks for having me."

Ron shook his head and closed the door. "That's quite alright. Besides, I was looking forward to meeting you. Ryan's told me a lot about you."

Horatio grimaced. "Only good things I hope?"

Ron snorted and le Horatio further into the apartment. "Would you like some coffee?"

Horatio nodded and sat down in the chair Ron indicated for him to sit in. He listened to the sounds of Ron making coffee and took a moment to look around. There were a few pictures hanging on the walls. There were pictures of a beach with a blue ocean and an even bluer sky, they showed Ron, a younger looking Ron and someone that must be Ryan in different stages of his life.

Horatio felt a slight pang when he looked at the photographs. The only way he knew that it was Ryan was because Ryan had told him about the times he'd gone fishing with his uncle and because the youth in the photographs went from looking like the child Horatio had last seen and to looking like the grown man Horatio had hired. But Horatio had no memories of the boys or the young men in the pictures. He had no recollection of Ryan looking like that.

Ron came back into the small living room with two cups of coffee, he placed one in front of Horatio and sat down as well. There was a moment of awkward silence, a silence that Horatio had expected, even so he hadn't been able to come up with an effective way to avoid it.

"I wanted to talk to you about Ryan. He… You're his family and you're the only one who can tell me what he was like when he grew up. I don't know Ryan, not like that."

Horatio wasn't entirely sure that was the right thing to say, considering that he didn't know Ron on any level yet. But Ron merely smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I expected something like that. You're his father after all, you'd want to know what he was like. I only saw Ryan during the summer, so I can't tell you what he was like in Boston, during the winter. Some people really change during the seasons." Ron said, a smile on his face.

"Rachel used to tell me that he was a difficult child in Boston and that every time he came back from Miami was worse. She claimed that was why she didn't want him coming back to Miami, but I managed to convince her every time. I don't doubt that Ryan played a part in convincing her too. But now that I think about it, I don't think Ryan being a difficult child had anything to do with her reluctance about Ryan coming here."

Horatio nodded in understanding. It was something he and Ryan had discussed, how Rachel had hated Ryan going to Miami every summer and eventually moving out there. They both agreed that Rachel probably hadn't wanted him going there because she was afraid that the truth might come out. And even if she had fooled herself into believing that Ryan really was her son, her subconscious had probably made her believe that it was dangerous for Ryan to be in Miami or something to that effect.

"But as far as I know, Ryan wasn't a difficult child at all. He was eager to please and did what he was told, as long as there was a reason for him doing it. That didn't change when he became a teenager. He was a good kid, if a bit lonely. He never mentioned any friends in Boston, and it seemed he was closer to the kids he met at the beach in Miami every year then anyone he met in Boston."

"I think Rachel just didn't know how to handle Ryan. Things got awkward sometimes with Ryan's OCD and it wasn't always easy, especially for Ryan. I remember that at certain times it got so bad that Ryan had to check his fishing gear five times before we could go out. At that time Ryan hadn't been diagnosed yet. Things got better after Ryan knew that he had OCD. It seemed he was able to figure out what was him and what was the OCD. He got a better grip on things like that."

Horatio frowned slightly. "Did he always have OCD, as far as you can remember?"

Ron frowned too, thinking deeply. Slowly, he shook his head. "I'm not sure. Now that I think about it, there are some things that indicated that he might have OCD when I first met him, but nothing obvious. It seemed he developed it over time. I remember when Rachel first told me about it, she said that the doctor had told me that people could be born with it or that it could be triggered because of some trauma."

Ron grimaced. "Did Ryan have OCD before Rachel kidnapped him?"

Horatio shook his head. "Not as far as I know. He did like things to be orderly, but that was more something Laura had instilled in him as a small child. You know, a place for everything and everything in its place, stuff like that."

Ron sighed sadly. "Maybe Rachel kidnapping him pushed him over the edge and into OCD or something." He shook his head. "I'm sorry about that."

Horatio frowned. "Sorry?"

"About Rachel kidnapping Ryan… I …. I knew she was a wildcat and I had a feeling that something was wrong. When one parent dies you expect a child to cling to the other one all the more fiercely, don't you? But Ryan seemed to want nothing to do with Rachel, he avoided her at all costs. And then there were the questions."

"He kept asking after his father and he didn't seem to want to listen when Rachel told him that his father was dead. Of course, that didn't seem too odd to me but then sometimes Ryan asked after his mother and Rachel told him that she was his mother and Ryan would get this look on his face. He kept asking to go home, because he wanted to go to the beach and Rachel kept telling him that they'd go home to Boston soon. But there aren't any beaches in Boston."

"I had a feeling that something was wrong, that something was off. But I just contributed everything to Ryan having difficulty dealing with Tom's death. I just closed my eyes to it and ignored it. If I'd just made some inquiries, called to some authorities. If I'd done something…" Ron stopped speaking.

Horatio slowly shook his head. "No, it…. You didn't have any reason to think that she would have done something like that. You couldn't have known that she'd done something like that. You might have had a feeling, but you didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle to make everything fit and realize that something really was wrong. Besides, Rachel was your sister. Of course you couldn't believe that she'd done something like that, I wouldn't be able to believe that Ray had done something like that either."

"Yeah…" Ron said and cleared his throat. "By the way, when you called, you reminded me… well, give me a minute."

He stood and disappeared through a small hallway. Horatio watched him go, surprised. After a couple of minutes, Ron came back.

"I realized that you don't have any like these and that you and… Laura, was her name?" at Horatio's nod he continued, "… would like to see them."

He sat down again and slid a few pieces of paper across the table to Horatio. The red haired man slowly picked them up and smiled. They photographs of Ryan at different stages of his life. Most of them seemed to be taken in Miami, at the beach, but some of them were of a young Ryan with a backdrop of snow. The smiles in those pictures seemed less genuine somehow.

It made his heart ache in a way that had become familiar to Horatio over the years and especially in the last few weeks. "Thank you." He said simply, because he felt that there was nothing else he could really say to this.

"No problem." Ron said softly, watching Horatio with a sad look on his face.

Horatio looked up again and smiled. "We're having a casual dinner this weekend, Laura and I will be there, so will Ryan and some other members of our family. Would you like to come?"

Ron just looked at him. "Are you sure you want me to be there?"

"You're Ryan's family too, that's just as important."

Ron grinned. "Alright then, I'll be there."

Horatio nodded. "Good." He held up a picture of Ryan sitting in a small boat, holding a fishing rod. "Will you tell me about these?"

To Be Continued….


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Ryan laughed and shook his head lightly as he and Eric sat on the ground of what should have been Ryan's childhood bedroom. Eric grinned at him. They were digging through boxes of toys and old children's books, everything that should have been familiar to Ryan but were only ghosts of possibilities. The window was open, allowing a small breeze to stir the curtains and ruffle through Ryan's hair. The sun was shining brightly, as it nearly always did, and there wasn't a cloud in the blue-as-ever sky.

Laura and Horatio were downstairs, preparing a light lunch. It would be just the four of them for lunch, but there were a lot more people coming for dinner. It still surprised Ryan every once in a while to realize how big his family had become. When he'd discovered what Rachel had done and when he'd found Horatio and Laura, he'd found a lot more then just his parents. Suddenly, when Horatio said family dinner it meant that Horatio, Laura, Frank, Yelina, Ray, Eric and Ron would be there. Not so long ago 'family dinner' had meant dinner with Rachel and Ron.

It didn't do much for Ryan's nerves, things were still slowly settling down. But it had taken him a while how much less lonely felt. It had taken him a while too to realize just how lonely he'd been. Family had never meant so much to Ryan as it did now and he was finally beginning to understand all the different layers of emotion and devotion family could have for each other. It still stumped him, made him painfully aware of he'd missed. But it was becoming easier to simply be happy with what he had now instead of looking back at regrets.

"You okay?"

Eric's voice kidnapped him away from his thoughts and he turned back to his lover, who had an amused smile on his face.

"What?"

"I asked if you were okay, you seemed a million miles away. I mean, thinking isn't necessarily a bad thing, but with everything that's happening lately…"

"It's not always safe to let my thoughts get away from me?" Ryan asked, finishing Eric's thought.

Eric simply nodded, a confident and concerned look on his face. There was no embarrassment for their concern over each other, not anymore.

"I was just thinking about what a big family I suddenly have." Ryan said. "I mean, about two months ago I thought the only family I had was Ron and Rachel. Now there's Horatio, Laura, Frank, Yelina, Ray, you and Ron. That's more then I ever thought I would have. It's a bit overwhelming at times. I'm still getting used to it."

Eric raised an eyebrow at him. "You do realize that's just the tip of the iceberg, right?"

Ryan frowned. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Well, you haven't met my family yet and trust me, there are a lot of us." Eric said, directing his attention back to the box in front of them, digging through the content.

Ryan just sat there for a while, starring at Eric for a while. That was right, with everything going on, he hadn't even thought about meeting Eric's family. It probably should have, considering that most of Ryan's problems lately had been about family and meeting Eric's family suddenly seemed like a crisis all on its own. He took a deep breath and released it through his nose.

"Ryan," Eric said, catching Ryan's attention, "don't worry. My parents will love you simply because I love you and the only thing my sisters will try to do is convince you that I'm not worthy of your time and you should go off and find someone better."

Ryan cleared his throat. "Yeah, so…. Your parents know you're bisexual, right?"

Eric nodded. "I told them that I might be gay when I was still a teenager and panicking over things. My mom accepted it almost immediately. She said that I was still young and that it might change and that it might not and that it didn't matter anyway. When I told her I was bisexual, she said that she'd be happy if I found a girl that could give her grandchildren. She also said that if I brought a guy home that she'd work on getting us to adopt. It didn't matter to her, as long as I was happy."

"Is it a coincidence that you've only mentioned your mom?"

"Well, my dad had a few difficulties with accepting it, but after a couple of talks and after my mom threatening him, he came around. My mom can be pretty scary when she puts her mind to it. In fact, women are the scariest species on this entire world, especially if they're a mother or a sister and related to you."

Ryan laughed. Eric's sense of humour never failed to relax him, or set his teeth on edge if it was in the wrong situation. He focused back on the box, but his thoughts wouldn't really let him. He just hoped that Eric's family liked him. It probably wouldn't have bothered him so much before Rachel died, but now he'd come to realize how important family was if you genuinely cared about each other. And there was no doubt in Ryan's mind that Eric genuinely cared about his family.

"Guys! Lunch!" Laura's voice called from at the bottom of the stairs.

Ryan stood with a groan, rubbing his legs to encourage his blood to circulate. He'd been fine sitting down but now that he was trying to walk around again he realized just how numb his legs had become. Eric stood with a grimace on his face and Ryan smirked at him. Eric rolled his eyes. They clambered down the stairs together, trying to walk the feeling back into their legs.

Laura was standing near the breakfast bar separating the living room and the kitchen, cutting up slices of lemon. "Food's on the table on the deck. Horatio's taking a phone call in the hallway."

Eric and Ryan exchanged a knowing look, it was very possible that Horatio was being called in for a case. Knowing Laura, she'd probably realized it too but simply didn't want to mention it. Eric and Ryan made their way to the deck where Laura joined them not too long after. They'd already started eating when Horatio joined them with a smile on his face and a kiss on Laura's cheek.

"Everything alright?" Laura asked, heaping a pile of potato salad onto her plate.

Horatio nodded. "Yes, everything's fine. That was just Frank, he'll be a bit late tonight, but I told him it's fine."

Laura nodded, looking slightly relieved and Eric and Ryan both grinned.

"How are things going up there?" Horatio asked, referring to Ryan's childhood bedroom.

Ryan shrugged. "It's strange, sometimes I can see a flash of a memory or there's something familiar about a toy or something. But not always and not often and definitely not always something that's clear."

"I'm loving the baby pictures." Eric interjected, earning him a whack on the arm from Ryan.

Laura laughed, obviously delighted and Ryan couldn't help but smile at the hurt look that Eric gave him. Horatio shook his head, a soft half-smile on his face. Ryan looked at each of them and smiled, thinking of all the people that would be joining them in the evening. It was nice to have family.

The End.


End file.
